The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - - Wellbeing -

Do a “re­al­ity check” on your life: write a “frus­tra­tion” list, and “plus-points” list. Put the two lists to­gether for a “cost-ben­e­fit” anal­y­sis of things that an­noy you.

Recog­nise your trig­gers: what con­sis­tently pushes you over the edge? What can you do to catch it early?

Learn as­sertive­ness tech­niques: broach tricky sub­jects with peo­ple early on by us­ing a less in­flam­ma­tory: “The ef­fect is …”, or “I feel …” (“When you take my pa­per-clips I don’t have any when I need them.”; “It makes me feel unim­por­tant when you’re al­ways late.”)

Tell peo­ple when you are close to go­ing over the edge. In­stead of smil­ing un­til you scream, say: “I’m feel­ing very frus­trated right now.”

Be re­al­is­tic: don’t try to be the per­fect ace all the time: some­times just let your­self be a five.

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