The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - - Cover Story -

The Cave­man Diet

Think Pa­le­olithic Man on the Atkins diet — lots of lean pro­tein, the odd berry, nut, or green shoot and ab­so­lutely no choco­late cake. You then crack and binge on baguettes, thereby scup­per­ing your last two weeks of ab­ject mis­ery. But you will have felt very pri­mal while it lasted.

The 5-Fac­tor Diet

The latest US trend made pop­u­lar by celebri­ties such as ac­tress Halle Berry. The magic num­ber is five: five meals a day, con­sist­ing of five ba­sic com­po­nents, tak­ing no more than five min­utes to pre­pare. Five days a week, you work out us­ing five ex­er­cises that take five min­utes each. Five sus­pen­sions of be­lief seem in­ad­e­quate.

The Car­dio-Free Diet

Hur­rah! Aer­o­bic work­outs are bad for you — they ac­tu­ally stop you los­ing weight. Or so says an Amer­i­can celebrity trainer. This is surely out­ra­geously and crim­i­nally wrong, but we will no doubt fall for it any­way.

The Mas­ter Cleanse Diet

Pop singer Bey­oncé slimmed down for a movie role us­ing this 1950s diet: you drink a mix of maple syrup, lemon juice, wa­ter and cayenne pep­per for days on end. Even Bey­oncé said it was a step too far, but it won’t stop some of us try­ing it.

The Cab­bage Soup Diet

An old favourite, but in 2008 some di­eters will still in­sist on con­sum­ing only wa­tery soup for seven days, lose a lot of weight (and friends), then gain it back in a flash.

The Blood­Type Diet

An­other one that will not fade: pro­po­nents be­lieve that cer­tain foods re­act dif­fer­ently to var­i­ous blood types. For in­stance, Type Os are “cro-magnon”, and should there­fore go heavy on the lean meat. Sci­en­tists may beg to dif­fer.

Fa­cial Anal­y­sis Diet

Ac­tress Kate Winslet lost her baby-weight us­ing this method and it re­mains weirdly pop­u­lar. How does it work? A “fa­cial an­a­lyst” ex­am­ines your skin, eyes and hair and comes up with a suit­able diet. Not sur­pris­ingly, sci­en­tific proof seems elu­sive.

The Grape­fruit Diet

Grape­fruit has myth­i­cal fat-burn­ing prop­er­ties. Un­der this diet, you eat half a grape­fruit be­fore ev­ery meal and you make that meal a minute one (your to­tal daily calo­ries should not ex­ceed 800). This is oth­er­wise known as semis­tar­va­tion, which many de­luded slim­mers al­ways favour.

The Fat Flush Diet

Here’s sup­pos­edly how to detox­ify your liver and mag­i­cally in­crease your body’s fat-burn­ing abil­ity (and, again, it will have in­dig­nant sci­en­tists froth­ing at the mouth). It means that you must have no car­bo­hy­drates, al­co­hol or cof­fee, but plenty of flaxseed oil, cran­berry juice and vi­ta­min sup­ple­ments. This is sure to tap into the cur­rent pseudo-sci­en­tific “health” trend. If the mere prospect of at­tempt­ing any of th­ese 10 di­ets makes you rush to the fridge for a sneaky spoon­ful of left-over tri­fle, then the No Crave Diet could be the one for you. It ad­vo­cates a bal­ance of pro­tein and com­plex car­bo­hy­drates that should stop you snack­ing and help you lose two pounds a week. It is the prod­uct of the com­bined wis­dom of natur­opath Dr Penny Ken­dall Reed and or­tho­pe­dic sur­geon Dr Stephen Reed and it aims to com­bat the emo­tional, as well as bi­o­log­i­cal, causes of crav­ings. LA

Read ex­tracts and recipes from The No Crave Diet in The Daily Tele­graph from Jan­uary 7.

The Co­conut Diet

Jen­nifer Anis­ton ap­par­ently con­sumed buck­ets of co­conut oil to “boost the me­tab­o­lism” and burn off fat, which is odd, since co­conut is rich in sat­u­rated fat. Baf­flingly non­sen­si­cal and there­fore bound to catch on.

And fi­nally...

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