SHANE WATSON PEOPLE WAT C H I N G
As Strictlygate continues to make the headlines for all the wrong reasons, spare a thought for an innocent hubby
e’re now into week three of Strictlygate and it’s not getting any better for the “guilty” parties.
The story so far: Strictly Come Dancing dancer Katya Jones (pictured above being interviewed with her celebrity dance partner, Seann Walsh, while her husband, Neil, far left, also a dancer on the programme, looks on) was caught in a clinch with Walsh after a night on the tiles. Since then, the world has gone mad. You’d think the couple had broken into the Children in Need offices, stolen all the Pudseys, and ended up fornicating under the statue of Churchill in full view of the Houses of Parliament. The days since their pavement snog have felt a bit like the climax of the Profumo Affair, or Lewinskygate, with questions being asked in high places, a public apology and statements from a judge (albeit Strictly judge Craig Revel Horwood). And while Katya has stressed that everything is fine in the Jones marriage, this picture – with Neil glowering in the background – would suggest there’s a long way to go before all is forgiven. You can almost read His thoughts, which go something like this:
Thanks a bunch. Thank you very much. Everyone in front of me wants to know what I am doing with my face. Everyone watching at home is scrutinising my expression. I am not comfortable.
Do you think you could look a bit less happy? That smile does not look to me (or my mum) like the smile of a married woman consumed with regret. That smile is more of an opportunity knocks smile, and I’m not the only one who thinks it.
I haven’t even got a celebrity partner. Let’s not forget that small detail. You’ve got the celebrity (so called… no one had heard of Seann with all the Ns until you put him on the map), while I’m stuck in the chorus, nose pressed to the glass, waiting for my break. Where is the justice?
A lot of people warned me… They said: “Watch That One, Neil, she’s got dirty dancer written all over her.”
That televised apology you gave – our marriage is “absolutely fine” – thanks for nothing. Might as well have said Neil is a pleasant enough bloke. Cheers.
Like Craig Revel Horwood said. What you did, bottom line, Not Professional. Me, I am a professional. You, sorry to say, not at all.
No one is looking at the dancing now are they? All they’re looking for is contact. That’s your doing. You have dragged our craft into the gutter and made something beautiful ugly.
And it’s such a cliché. I’d be embarrassed. I am embarrassed.
We haven’t even got on to what you were doing out on the lash, when you said you were going to A Star Is Born, with your brother, and you’re meant to be doing Sober for October and veggie on weekdays.
The way I see it, you’ve made me look like a total knob, and I’m not sure you’re bothered.
DAGGERS DRAWN Seann Evans and dance partner Katya Jones, with husband Neil back left