LETTER OF THE WEEK
My girlfriend has offered to teach me to drive and we’ve done a couple of short sessions. It’s something she does well and enjoys, but I have steered clear of (pardon the pun) after failing my test ignominiously when I was 18. Money is tight and it would be good to avoid expensive tuition.
The trouble is that when we have tried it’s a complete nightmare and we start rowing furiously before I’ve got out of my parking space. I don’t feel like we are bringing deeper problems to light – we are happy and affectionate normally. But with me behind the wheel and her in the passenger seat, something happens – I don’t understand what she is asking me, I ask her to clarify or repeat something she’s told me, she loses her temper… it’s almost as if our day-to-day life is so good we don’t have a mechanism for saying anything questioning or critical. Or maybe it is somehow deeper and to do with gender roles, I don’t know for sure.
Anyway, I’d really like to persevere with this for practical reasons, plus I think she’d be hurt if I stopped now. Do you have any suggestions?
ANDY, VIA EMAIL
I would like you to gently put your foot on the brake until the car has safely come to a complete standstill. Now shift the gearstick into neutral,