LET­TER OF THE WEEK

The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - - GAMES -

My girl­friend has of­fered to teach me to drive and we’ve done a cou­ple of short ses­sions. It’s some­thing she does well and en­joys, but I have steered clear of (par­don the pun) after fail­ing my test ig­no­min­iously when I was 18. Money is tight and it would be good to avoid ex­pen­sive tu­ition.

The trou­ble is that when we have tried it’s a com­plete night­mare and we start row­ing fu­ri­ously be­fore I’ve got out of my park­ing space. I don’t feel like we are bring­ing deeper prob­lems to light – we are happy and af­fec­tion­ate nor­mally. But with me be­hind the wheel and her in the pas­sen­ger seat, some­thing hap­pens – I don’t un­der­stand what she is ask­ing me, I ask her to clar­ify or repeat some­thing she’s told me, she loses her tem­per… it’s al­most as if our day-to-day life is so good we don’t have a mech­a­nism for say­ing any­thing ques­tion­ing or crit­i­cal. Or maybe it is some­how deeper and to do with gen­der roles, I don’t know for sure.

Any­way, I’d re­ally like to per­se­vere with this for prac­ti­cal rea­sons, plus I think she’d be hurt if I stopped now. Do you have any sug­ges­tions?

ANDY, VIA EMAIL

Dear Andy

I would like you to gen­tly put your foot on the brake un­til the car has safely come to a com­plete stand­still. Now shift the gear­stick into neu­tral,

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