Fe­bru­ary 2020

The Daily Telegraph - Telegraph Magazine - - Just Williams -

Once the first man has suc­cess­fully landed on Mars – Michael Phelps, who was just des­per­ate for a swim – re­searchers learn the planet is, in fact, largely suit­able for hu­man life. ‘If it is pos­si­ble, we are now con­sid­er­ing invit­ing some peo­ple to move th—’ a sci­en­tist be­gins to an­nounce. He is cut off by Theresa May, who bursts into the room and pleads to go. ‘I can sur­vive any­thing! I’ve been stock­pil­ing food and medicine for two years! And who bet­ter to scale Olym­pus Mons than Philip and me, the world’s most in­trepid hill-walk­ers?’ She is de­nied, as no­body is will­ing to take on her job on earth.

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