Suddenly, school sports days are also for fathers
Ladies, have you noticed a change in your other half ’s behaviour lately? Sneaking off to the bathroom to shave his legs, doing one-armed press-ups in the bedroom, timed laps of the kitchen island?
No, he’s not doing an Eddie Izzard, performing charity marathons in a frock. He has his eye on a much more prestigious prize: school sports day.
Apparently, competitive dad syndrome – or CDS as I have trademarked it – is finding its expression in nailing the parents’ egg-and-spoon.
Bigger cars, clunkier watches and drinking competitions are out. Three-legged races are in. Scenes of paternal triumph are all over Facebook like a rash (quick, call a physio!), while over on Instagram, grown men are punching the air like world champions as they bag the dads’ not-even-100m final.
This is fascinating on several sociological counts. Firstly, it turns out that, given the right alpha male incentive, daddy can get out of the office for a couple of hours to attend sports day after all. Secondly, despite all
previous appearances to the contrary at home, he does, in fact, have enough energy to get off the sofa – if it means publicly thrashing other slightly more sedentary fathers.
And thirdly, despite the proper job, the pension plan and the creeping depredations of middle age, your husband is still, at heart, the young man you first fell for with all the enthusiasm and wholeheartedness and, yes, preposterous competitiveness that entails.
That’s not to say mothers don’t want to beat each other, just not so much in sport. Those who do are invariably a self-selecting bunch without mummy tummies, and fair play to them. But in my book, there’s far more pleasure to be had in watching great big men limbering up at the starting line and straining every sinew just to make their children proud.
Oh sorry, did I say their children? I mean themselves. Those silly grins speak volumes. There may not be an Olympic medal in it for them, or even a nickel-plated dad trophy. But the real reward is very much virtual. To the victor
ludorum, the social media spoils!