WHAT TO DO IF YOUR TEENAGER IS GETTING RESULTS TODAY

If it’s good news…

Celebrations are in order, of course. But you can still help them prepare for life outside the classroom:

Find JK Rowling’s 2008 commencement address to Harvard University on Youtube, in which the author celebrates the importance of failure – particularly for individuals used to success. While parental sermons get ignored, Rowling’s inspiring ode to making mistakes might not.

Encourage them to speak up with authority figures. Success as an adult is about being visible and influential more than doing everything “right” – mention your own real-world examples.

Reframe asking for help as a strength not a weakness; instead of struggling in silence, it’s a smart strategy to get the knowledge you need to finish a task.

If it’s not…

This is an opportunity for your child to learn resilience, especially if they aren’t used to disappointment:

A university offer might be in jeopardy, but be clear this isn’t the end of the world, just a challenge. First, they should call the admissions office to see if the offer can still be accepted. If clearing is the next step, let them lead the process. If they (rather than you) figure out their options, it inspires confidence in their own adaptability.

Talk about their feelings openly. While giving them perspective is important, let them know it is OK to be upset or embarrassed. Trying to avoid these emotions is unhealthy.

When they’ve bounced back, praise how they handled it. Commending their coping skills highlights that their worth doesn’t hinge on success.