HOW TO GET THE MOST FROM COUNSELLING 1 2 3 4 5

Go early The first signs of trouble are when counselling should begin, not after the trial separation. That way, you can quickly uncover resentment and unhappiness, before it takes hold.

Be willing to listen Going with an agenda, particularly one involving “persuading” the counsellor to take your side, is unhelpful. They are trained to listen and ask questions, not to take sides. Go willingly

If you’re only going resentfully, because your partner insists, you won’t get much from it. Be open minded about what you might gain – at the very least, a greater understanding of yourself and what you need. Be honest

Lying to impress the counsellor, or agreeing with him/her purely to get “Brownie points” is utterly pointless, and will only serve to deepen the rifts. Be truthful, but don’t be deliberately hurtful. Go for as long as you need While some couples feel ready to move on in six sessions, others take longer – and some may only need a couple. Everyone’s issues are different, so avoid preconceived ideas of how long it takes to “sort things out”.