Remember Brexit, dear? Turns out the issue hasn’t gone away after all

And to think, some of us used to complain about the news being nothing but Brexit. So boring, we groaned. It’s just the same old dreary story, day after day after day. Brexit, Brexit, endless blasted Brexit. Wasn’t there anything else happening in Westminster we could write about? Well, turns out that there was.

Weird, isn’t it? Since being abruptly dwarfed by other events, Brexit somehow feels distant, remote, even quaint: as if it happened long ago, in a gentler, more innocent age.

Remember Brexit, darling? You know. That thing where Britain voted to leave the European Union. What happened about that, in the end? Did we ever find out?

In case anyone needs reassuring, I can confirm that Brexit is still going on, albeit somewhat in the background, and yesterday morning the Commons met to question David Davis and his ministers on the latest developments.

In a vote the night before, MPS had backed Labour’s demand that the Government publish its secret studies on the likely economic impact of Brexit. At the very least, argued Labour, the studies should be shown to the Brexit select committee.

In the Commons yesterday, Robin Walker, a junior minister, responded. Mr Davis, he promised, would discuss it with Hilary Benn, the committee’s chairman, “in due course”.

Labour were far from satisfied. “Could ministers confirm what they mean by ‘in due course’?” asked Seema Malhotra (Lab, Feltham & Heston). “And if they don’t know yet, when will they?”

“In due course,” honked an unseen Labour colleague. Steve Baker, another junior Brexit minister, looked troubled. The problem facing him was clear. The only answer he could give was “in due course”. But he couldn’t say “in due course” because he’d just been asked what “in due course” meant. Essentially, therefore, he had to find a way to say “in due course” without using the words “in”, “due” and “course”. So, rather gamely, he tried: “We’ll move as swiftly as is possible in all circumstances.”

Nigel Evans (Con, Ribble Valley) sensed a Remainer plot. The German and French governments, he sniffed, had surely done secret studies of the impact Brexit would have on their own economies. So why weren’t Labour MPS badgering the Germans and the French to release those studies, hmm?

Mr Baker might have said, “Well, it’s probably because Labour MPS are British, and therefore more immediately concerned about Britain’s economy than Germany’s or France’s.” But Mr Evans is a party colleague, so he could hardly say that. Instead, he told him it was “an extremely good point”.

Still, even if Labour do hope the secret economic studies will undermine Brexit, Mr Evans needn’t worry. After all, Labour are going to look pretty silly when they learn that after March 2019 we’ll all be driving diamond-studded Rolls-royces and lighting our cigars with £50 notes.