A psychologist’s guide to festive shopping
Take a deep breath: as Christmas beckons, good stress management is crucial to surviving the season, explains Linda Blair
Cheerful music, twinkling lights on the high street and decorations in the shops – what can possibly be wrong with a few reminders that Christmas is coming? It is the news that Scrooges will have been waiting for, but quite a lot, actually. If you don’t feel ready to think about the festive season then those reminders can quickly become a source of irritation. They can also be exhausting. Screening out the endless tunes takes mental effort, while thinking about the presents you need to buy, the preparations you need to make, and the money you’ll be spending, can all cause anxiety.
According to academics, stress rates are higher at this time of year. A survey of more than 700 adults in the US by pollsters Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, and cited by the American Psychological Society, found that 25 per cent of people said they “felt stressed”, while 20 per cent were “often fatigued” during the Christmas period. A Grinch-like 18 per cent of those polled claimed to dislike Christmas shopping altogether.
The first weekend of December typically marks the start of the high street feeding frenzy, with retailers holding events and offering discounts. With all that temptation, it’s perhaps little wonder that seven out of 10 people buy gifts that they then keep for themselves. But when you’re trying to keep a handle on the purse strings – not to mention the number of carrier bags you have to lug around the overly hot shops – unnecessary purchases are the last thing you need.
The music is key. It is the most powerful part of what Philip Kotler at Northwestern University has called “retail atmospherics” – a shop’s visual, aural, olfactory and tactile embellishments. This is because it produces an emotional reaction first, and a logical one second. Familiar tunes call up specific memories – happy or unhappy – which can influence your spending patterns, and act as triggers, reminding you of all the costs and preparations that lie ahead. Retailers are acutely aware of this and use it to encourage customers to spend away their worries.
So, if you’re planning to brave the shops and stay stress-free (instead of buying online, or unless you are one of the smug 12 per cent who have done it all by November), you will have to train your brain. It won’t be easy, but it can be done. It is possible to avoid “Christmas burnout” and maximise the chance that you’ll wake up on December 25 rested and ready to embrace the fun. The key lies in careful preparation…
Create a backward chain
Begin by making two lists. The first will contain everything you need to do before Christmas. The second includes everything you need to do on Christmas Day itself.
Put a time estimate beside each item then add 50 per cent. Most of us underestimate how long we’ll need to complete a task and, if you get behind, it’s all too easy to become discouraged and abandon your plans. Finally, add one item to your pre-christmas list: a treat for yourself – a massage, or a meal out. Anything to preserve your sanity and help you unwind.
Next, order your Christmas Day list by time, starting from the last thing you need to do and working back to whatever needs doing first on Christmas morning. Do the same for your pre-christmas list: what needs to happen on December 24 and so on, up to the present day. This is known as a “backwards-chaining calendar”, and should avoid you feeling overloaded at the last minute.
Set your elves to work
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Women, in particular, need to keep this in mind, because all too often they assume it is their job to do everything. The Greenberg Quinlan Rosner researchers noted that women “shoulder the majority of the family burden for shopping and holiday celebrations” and that, as a result, they are “particularly vulnerable to increased stress”.
So reach out. Could one of your guests bring the yule log? Would your children like to put up the festive decorations?
Involving others not only lightens your load, it lets them feel part of the celebrations as well.
What could sabotage you?
Now think about gifts. Who’s on your list? Beside each person, jot down at least one idea as well as what you are happy to spend. To avoid impulse buying and going off budget, have this list with you whenever you look online or go out shopping.
There will be pressures all around, urging you to buy more than you can afford. The best way not to succumb is simply to be aware of them.
Watch out for two in particular. First are those “retail atmospherics”; the suggestions in shops that you need to buy, buy, buy.
These include the music, scents, decorations and must-haves or “specials”. If you stick steadfastly to your lists, you can enjoy the atmosphere of Christmas, without letting it take over.
The second pressure comes from those around you. When we notice other people making greater efforts or spending more, it’s easy to feel the need to keep up. Christmas should not, however, be a competition. The people around you in the shops and at work won’t be with you on the day, so their approach isn’t important.