Most useless utility

The utility with which most people are dissatisfied is broadband, Ofcom has declared. Well, there’s a surprise. Imagine if the electricity supply were available in the same way as broadband. Not only could you complete the Telegraph crossword while your breakfast egg boiled on the electric hob, but you’d have time to polish off the obituaries as well. When winter snow came you’d have the security of knowing that you’d have the house as warm as toast – in a fortnight or so. You could consume all the classics you wanted for your bedtime reading – as long as they were on a glowing reader and didn’t require artificial light. Indeed, access to broadband is so bad you’d think it was run by a National Broadband Service, with waiting lists of months, as with the NHS. Only, for many, the wait for broadband is permanent.