Justine Picardie
For the British monarchy to survive and flourish, as it has done for centuries (despite the occasional revolutionary spasm or stirrings of national unrest), then its royal pageantry must move us on an emotional level, as well as impress with its glorious pomp and tradition. And the House of Windsor’s continuing capacity to reflect and express the complex narrative of our own lives – the family dramas and disasters, hopes and fears, loves and losses – is revealed again today, through the wedding of Prince Harry to Meghan Markle.
As it happens, I was born within a few days of his mother, Lady Diana Spencer, so when she became engaged to Prince Charles at the age of 19, and married soon after her 20th birthday, I could not help but wonder what it might mean to become such a youthful wife. Like her, I fell in love young, and was blessed with two sons (both redheads, coincidentally, and one who shares a birthday with Prince Harry); like her, I suffered the heartbreak of marital breakdown and divorce. And when Princess Diana died, in the prime of her life, it was just three weeks before the untimely death of my sister; thus the haunting image of her grieving sons, walking behind their mother’s coffin, was etched indelibly in my memory of that sombre funeral, and the darkness that followed.
Yet I also know that this sense of shared history is far greater than my own personal identification with a royal story; for a great many of us will be watching today’s ceremony, and hoping for a happy-ever-after for the boy who lost his mother when he was just 12 years old. Under other circumstances, would we care so much about the marriage of the sixth in line to the throne? Probably not; but when it comes to Prince Harry, it is impossible not to feel touched by the tragedy of his bereavement, and the troubles that he suffered in its aftermath.
As a mother, I understand the trials of adolescence (though how much worse it must be for a teenage boy to be scrutinised in the relentless glare of the global media); and I also share the concerns of any parent beset with worries about their child suffering the pain that accompanies the fractures of divorce. But how blessed we are when we see an unhappy boy growing into a fine young man, whose past sorrows have made him more understanding of others, and strong in his resolve to create a better future.
Hence my pleasure – and the countrywide celebrations – on this sunlit May morning, when Prince Harry marries the woman he loves; and our delight in his bold choice of a bride. Yes, she is an American divorcée, which for some commentators cannot help but recall Wallis Simpson – “that woman”, in the words of Harry’s great-grandmother, the Queen Mother, whose life was forever changed by the momentous events of the abdication – but it would be misogynistic and mean-spirited to define Meghan Markle simply by her previous marital status (or indeed by her relationship to her father). She has proved herself to be an independentminded woman; and as a feminist of biracial heritage, she will bring as much to the marriage, and the Royal family, as she will to our national sense of identity.
The fact that Prince Charles is to walk Meghan up the aisle, rather than her absent father, strengthens the symbolism of a warm royal welcome, while also reminding us that modern families can evolve, even in the wake of misfortune or disharmony, and find new ways of shaping themselves.
After the upheaval of Brexit – which continues to feel akin to an unresolved divorce on a monumental scale – and the ruptures of Trumpian politics, there is much to be said for a day of healing unity, where Britain at its open-minded and optimistic best is witnessed by an audience of millions around the world. True, we know not what might lie ahead for Prince Harry and his bride; and as always, our own futures remain uncertain (for uncertainty is an alchemical element of the mysteries and magic of being human).
But just as the House of Windsor has come together again, uniting after the divisive events of the decades since the long-ago wedding of Charles and Diana, so, too, do we have this fleeting opportunity for joyful unity. The white wedding flowers will fade, the blue skies turn to dusk, the cheering crowds disappearing at nightfall… but still, here is a moment to treasure forever, and to cherish all that we share, rather than dwelling on what may divide us.