Politics ... a game of two halves, 70 years apart

Politics is football for the kind of people who were picked last at games. Like football fans, political obsessives support the same team from birth to death, no matter how badly that team performs. They loathe its rivals with a jeering, bitterly personal fury. And they’re convinced that all criticism of their team in the media is motivated by bias.

But there’s another thing they have in common. Yesterday’s PMQS threw up a perfect example.

Jeremy Corbyn was attacking Theresa May over the NHS. Her Government, snapped the Labour leader, was “tearing up the founding principles of the NHS and putting private profit before public service”. Not that it surprised him. After all, he spat, the Tories were “the party that opposed the NHS in the first place”.

Amid the frenzied din that followed, Jonathan Ashworth – the shadow health secretary – could be heard barracking Tory MPS. “Yes, you did!” he yelled at them, with an indignant glee. “You voted against it 22 times!”

And there it is. The psychology of the football fan, summed up in a single word. That word being: “you”.

Who did Mr Ashworth mean, when he said “you”? The Tory MPS sitting opposite him didn’t vote against the creation of the NHS. At the time those votes were held, in 1946, only six of today’s Tory MPS (Ken Clarke, Glyn Davies, Sir Roger Gale, Sir Peter Bottomley, Sir Bill Cash and Sir Paul Beresford) had even been born. Yet, as far as Mr Ashworth was concerned, the Tory MPS of 2018 and the Tory MPS of 1946 were one and the same. To him, all Tory MPS – past and present – were “you”, while all Labour MPS – past and present – were “we”. Hence “we” created the NHS – while “you” voted against it.

Which is exactly how it works in football. Without batting an eyelid, a football fan can say that “we” won the Cup final in 1946 – even though he himself played no part in his team’s victory, and may not have been born till decades later. Similarly, he can taunt the fan of a rival team by saying that “you” lost the Cup final in 1946 – even though that fan played no part in his team’s defeat, and may not have been born till decades later.

In a way, though, it makes perfect sense. Both politics and football attract obsessives they offer the same thrill: the thrill of tribal enmity. Of us versus them. Of “we” versus “you”.

To give Mr Ashworth his due, he was partly right. In 1946, Tory MPS did vote against the creation of the NHS. But they weren’t alone. Doctors voted against it, too. Overwhelmingly so.

I wonder whether, the next time he goes for a check-up, Mr Ashworth will berate his GP for it.