Beware the ne’er-do-well with designs on your designer dog

Five dogs are being stolen every day in Britain. Five owners distraught. Five pets distressed.

It affects whole families because dogs are family, and the echoing absence of Teddy the French bulldog or Pablo the cockapoo leaves a gaping hole.

Some dogs are easy-going and will – alarmingly – happily trot away with anyone. Others just want to be with their people. They are programmed to lie next to us on the sofa, sleep in our beds (or at least keep trying), or follow us, really quite irritatingly, from room to room.

Freedom of information requests to police have exposed a seven per cent increase in dognapping in 2017 compared to the year prior. Prit Power, head of pet insurance at Direct Line, who sent the requests, explained that “the rise in popularity of ‘designer’ dog breeds among celebrities and the ‘fashion’ for certain types of dogs means people are willing to pay thousands for an animal, which unfortunately makes them prime targets for thieves”.

Staffordshire bull terriers are being stolen to fight or to have pups, designer crosses such as puggles (a portmanteau of pug and beagle) and cavapoos (King Charles cavalier spaniel and poodle) are especially lucrative.

A pre-loved French bulldog – thefts were up 27per cent from 2016 to 2017 – can change hands for more than £1,000. It’s

a horribly personal crime; mobile phones can be replaced and jewellery insured, but there won’t be another dog who hides his head under the chair cushion when the Antiques

Roadshow music comes on. Owners of pedigrees have been warned to be keep an eye on their pets, although I can’t imagine a dognapper getting far with our two – despite their glossy good looks.

Otto and Mabel are Manchester terriers, a rare British breed also known as black and tans. They are lively and lovely, and described in official literature as a “loyal and discerning” breed. This is a euphemism for “they hate strangers”. And I do mean hate.

Woe betide any stranger attempting to ring the doorbell, chat to them in the street or pause to admire them through a car window. The fearsome barking and vertical leaping is quite extraordinary, and being terriers, they won’t stop.

My major concern is less that they might be whisked away by ne’er-do-wells, but that the ne’er-do-wells might bring them back and demand compensation for hurt feelings.