My life in sex

The Guardian - Weekend - - Body - The 70-year-old gay man

It must be strange to some that here I am, a gay man of three­score years and ten still hav­ing fun with a man in his mid-40s who is hap­pily part­nered. We first met at work, 25 years ago, but it was 10 years be­fore he started vis­it­ing. Now, he reg­u­larly pops in once or twice a week. We have the same rou­tine: cup of tea, choco­late mini roll and a sen­si­ble chat, then we nip up­stairs and de­brief for fun. And what fun it is – bet­ter than all the fun I have had be­fore.

Pre­vi­ous boyfriends have come and gone. All have been good, but this guy is here and now – and

I love it. I dare not ever say the word love aloud, but it is love for my part: I love him to bits. But I never dare say that word to him as he ap­pears quite happy with his part­ner. Is he, though? I keep my fin­gers crossed.

The part­ner knows I ex­ist, but we will never meet so­cially. They are not civil part­ners or mar­ried, but live to­gether. Pic­tures of them ap­pear on Face­book, en­joy­ing their leisure ac­tiv­i­ties, but I never click “like”. I pre­fer to re­main in the back­ground.

I don’t even ask whether my hand­some guy is still hav­ing sex with his part­ner. They sleep in the same bed­room, so I ex­pect that hap­pens. If my guy was ever to walk out of that re­la­tion­ship and ask to move in and be my boyfriend, would I say yes? Of course. But I also know this will never hap­pen.

I have no idea why the light of my life keeps com­ing back to spend time with this old man. But he does, and I love it.

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