The se­cret to…

re­dis­cov­er­ing sex af­ter hav­ing a baby. Plus A let­ter to my es­tranged adult chil­dren

The Guardian - Weekend - - Front Contents -

Book a babysit­ter. Ask k friends, fam­ily, a pro­fes­sional l to come and sit for a few hours s while you get out of the house use and en­joy some “cou­ple” time. It could be a walk, cinema, nema, din­ner, drink at the lo­cal ocal pub… just get out and about t for a few hours with­out baby to o chat and re­lax – the key to get­ting in­ti­mate again. Ban all talk of ba­bies or other chil­dren. Re­con­nect nnect with the pre-baby you u and choose top­ics that are e of mu­tual in­ter­est such as hol­i­day ideas, fu­ture plans, top­i­cal news, and how w each of you is feel­ing. . A men­tal break from be­ing eing “mum” or “dad” helps ps you to feel more “you” – and more de­sir­able. Talk through any fears. You may be feel­ing anx­ious about hav­ing sex af­ter hav­ing the baby. Women can worry it may be painful, and guys are con­cerned they don’t want to hurt their part­ner. Keep the talk­ing pos­i­tive. Once stresses have been re­leased through shar­ing, you’ll find the phys­i­cal stuff is eas­ier and more en­joy­able. Dress up! Get ou out of your baggy track­suit bot­tom bot­toms and old T-shirt. Get­ting spruced up will make you feel so much muc bet­ter, more pos­i­tive and mo most def­i­nitely more at­trac­tive and d de­sir­able – this goes for both of you. Have a ccud­dle. Phys­i­cal con­tact in any way is a re­ally go good start to get­ting back to y your sex­ual best. In­stead of feel­ing as though you have hav to jump into bed straight away, re­move any pres pres­sure or anx­i­eties by en­joy en­joy­ing skin-on-skin cud­dling cud­dling, kiss­ing, or even

gen­tle fore­play, if you’re in the m mood.

Break­ing Mum b And Dad: An In­sid In­sider’s Guide To Parental Anx­i­ety, by Anna Wil­liamson, is pub­lis pub­lished by Green Tree

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