THE DI­ARY

The Herald - - OPINION -

Go­ing down a bomb

THE news this week of what the new BBC dig­i­tal chan­nel for Scot­land will look like re­minds us of a few BBC sto­ries from the Di­ary’s past, in­clud­ing when Re­port­ing Scot­land cov­ered an ar­rest in Glas­gow in con­nec­tion with a ter­ror­ist bomb­ing in Stock­holm. The BBC in­ter­viewed a neigh­bour about the armed po­lice raid who told them: “I heard a lot of noise. Po­lice were shout­ing, ‘Lie down, lie down’. Doors were bang­ing, there were firearms.” We just won­dered if it was only in Glas­gow when the neigh­bour then added: “I thought it must be the end of a party or some­thing.”

Balls up

SPORTS fans will re­mem­ber the BBC sports quiz Quizball which com­bined play­ers with celebri­ties. Ac­tor John Cair­ney was ap­pear­ing with an eru­dite Celtic quiz team but some­one called off and Lis­bon Lion Wil­lie Wal­lace was drafted in. Re­called John: “‘Wispy’ hadn’t opened his mouth, so we ar­ranged to leave one ques­tion to him. It was ‘Who or what is a gar­ry­owen?’ We all knew it was a kick from the hands to score in rugby, but looked at Wispy to re­spond. He pressed his buzzer, and whis­pered, ‘The rac­ing correspondent of the Daily Record?’”

Would ye credit it

WE liked the re­ac­tion of stand-up Kevin Bridges, cur­rently pack­ing them in at The SSE Hy­dro, when the BBC gave him a TV se­ries. Said Kevin: “It’ll be great to see some­thing on na­tional TV made from Scot­land that doesn’t have an ap­peal for wit­nesses be­fore the clos­ing cred­its.”

You’re so Chick

IT would be wrong to talk about the BBC with­out res­ur­rect­ing a tale about our old chum Chick Young, the BBC sports re­porter. Former Celtic striker and man-about-town Frank Mcaven­nie re­called sneak­ing into the Scot­land team’s Glas­gow ho­tel at four in the morn­ing af­ter a night on the tiles with fel­low scal­ly­wag Mo John­ston. Frank said that when news of his of­fence be­came pub­lic, BBC sports re­porter Chick Young in­ter­viewed him and asked what they were think­ing about, be­ing in a night­club when they should have been pre­par­ing for a game. Frank replied: “You tell us, Chick – you were still there when we left.”

Name call­ing

A BBC Scot­land re­porter once told us she man­aged to read the name of the late North Korea leader Kim Jong il when he died with­out mis­pro­nounc­ing it. So what, you might think, but she tells us of a fel­low broad­caster who read the name out as Kim Jong the Sec­ond.

Fur good­ness sake

BBC sports re­porter Alison Walker ar­rived at Hamil­ton race­course to do a re­port on Scot­land’s own poor­man’s As­cot, the Saints and Sin­ners meet­ing, and was help­ing the crew hump the equip­ment through the crowd when one wee girl shouted: “Aw, look at that wee dug, maw! Can a clap it?” Her slightly re­freshed mother de­clared: “Aye, oan ye go, hen, that’s a smashin’ wee dug right enough.” Alison then gen­tly ex­plained that she was in fact car­ry­ing a furry boom mic.

Hostage to for­tune

THE BBC’S former Gaza correspondent, Alan John­ston, who spent four months as a hostage, was guest speaker at Dollar Academy’s an­nual din­ner. Af­ter a mov­ing speech, Alan in­quired if there were ques­tions, and was asked: “You spent some time in Dundee – was that a good prepa­ra­tion for be­ing held hostage in Gaza?”

Smoke sig­nals

GIOVANNA Eusebi, who runs award-win­ning delis in both the west end and the east end of Glas­gow, was over in the east end with a BBC film crew who were il­lus­trat­ing how the east end of the city was begin­ning to flour­ish. How­ever a drunk ap­peared over the hori­zon, fixed his beady eye on the crew, and asked them what was go­ing on. In a rather posh Lon­don ac­cent, one replied: “I’m the pro­ducer.” This in­for­ma­tion was di­gested by the drunk who asked: “Well, gonnae pro­duce a fag then?”

„ Night­club­bing with Chick Young

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