Spice Girls take us back to the happy days of scream­ing egos and strops

The Herald - - OPINION -

THE SPICE Girls have an­nounced they’re to make a come­back (again, and just four of them) and the news evokes thoughts of Michael Parkin­son’s fa­mous quote about meet­ing the nicest peo­ple down Mem­ory Lane.

But are the Spicers peo­ple you would want to bump into when your hands are full of mes­sage bags, you’ve got sore feet, it’s rain­ing a full cat and dog home of im­agery, and you still don’t know what to feed the weans for tea?

The Girls are re­turn­ing 24 years af­ter they first found pop suc­cess. Yet, if pos­i­tives are to be grasped from this slightly sur­pris­ing res­ur­rec­tion from the tombs of pop his­tory one could be the fact they are a warn­ing to all young women out there.

Yes, if you sign with the right man­age­ment agency (who can com­mand the best song­writ­ers to come up with catchy tunes) and you hit the zeit­geist with faux fem­i­nist im­agery and can man­age to make a re­verse v-sign, then you can make mil­lions. But then what hap­pens?

No sooner have the five friends been shar­ing make-up, hav­ing fun sleep­overs and pil­low fights, than fights be­come real. The com­plaints sur­face. The egos in some heads soar. And the band im­plodes.

Vic­to­ria Beck­ham, it seems, is more likely to be smil­ing in front of a press cam­era than she is to be putting on the plat­form train­ers once again.

In fact, the other group mem­bers didn’t even bother to ask her if she’d show up.

“Do you know what is ac­tu­ally quite funny?” says Mel C. “I saw Vic­to­ria re­cently and ob­vi­ously we’ve all been in con­tact – she re­ally sup­ports us and we re­ally sup­port her. But she did raise the point that she was never ac­tu­ally asked. We just pre­sumed.”

Geri added: “I spoke to her be­fore the an­nounce­ment and she has said it for years that she just doesn’t want to do it any more, so we knew that.”

VB has as much time for Mel B, it’s claimed, as Don­ald Trump does for CNN re­porters.

As for Mel B, the Leeds-born singer has blown, al­legedly, most of her £38 mil­lion for­tune. And it’s not that she can boast of a happy home life to the fans who once looked up to her.

„ Chase me, chase me: Streak­ers just aren’t what they used to be, judg­ing by this shy ex­am­ple who kept his box­ers on. Still, it gave the po­lice of­fi­cer who gave chase a good work­out dur­ing the fourth day of the first test cricket match be­tween Eng­land andSri Lanka. It was prob­a­bly the most ex­cit­ing thing that hap­pened all day.

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