Listen to the children
AS AN OFFICER with the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass), working with divorce and separation on a daily basis, I was heartened to read Leon Symons’s article (JC December 29) strongly advocating arrangements by agreement.
However, I do not accept that it is the adversarial system which leads to divorcing couples and others talking in terms of “winners and losers”.
It is not the system but the embittered parents with unresolved matrimonial issues who use the only arena open to them to continue their battle. In reality there are no winners — only losers — after divorce.
One can only strive to make “second best” as good as possible which, in turn, places an even greater responsibility on parents who must put the needs of their children before their own. Ian Israel London N20 REGARDING YOUR ARTICLE on children’s welfare when a marriage ends in divorce (JC, December 29): the approach nearly all children desire — as demonstrated in research — when parents divorce is that their voices are listened to, and not the shouting of the parents.
So stop telling children what to do and instead listen to what they have to say. Name and address supplied