Thought of swap­ping gal­ax­ies yet?

The Jewish Chronicle - - Comment&analysis -

ONE OF my favourite sto­ries of last week was about the space probe that Nasa sent crash­ing into the Moon to cre­ate a big cloud of dust which will tell us if there is wa­ter there.

Sci­en­tists had re­cently found ev­i­dence to sug­gest that there is wa­ter on the moon and made a big deal out of it, al­though I could have told them that years ago — af­ter all, if there was no wa­ter on the Moon, what did The Clangers make their soup out of?

Any­way, ap­par­ently the dis­cov­ery of wa­ter there is cru­cial. Un­til now, any as­tro­nauts who hap­pened to be in the area had to bring their own bot­tled sup­ply which, apart from be­ing heavy and cum­ber­some, was also eco­log­i­cally un­sound.

This dis­cov­ery could have (lit­er­ally) far-reach­ing ef­fects — it could make the moon into a stag­ing post for travel into outer space. The think­ing is that we could set up some kind of fac­tory there, pro­duc­ing wa­ter from the ice crys­tals lurk­ing be­low the Moon’s sur­face. This would make the Moon into a low-grav­ity ver­sion of a Lit­tle Chef on the great in­ter-galac­tic M1. As every­one knows, the Moon pro­vides the last chance to fill up be­fore Jupiter — so let’s hope the egg and chips are half-de­cent.

I found my­self get­ting a lit­tle ex­cited about the thought that we could all soon be on a real ver­sion of the USS En­ter­prise, boldly go­ing where no man has gone be­fore — and even, as some ex­perts have pre­dicted, colonis­ing new plan­ets. In fact, hark­ing back to Star Trek, I sus­pect that it is no co­in­ci­dence that both the cap­tain and the first of­fi­cer, Kirk and Spock, were played by Jews, (even if Leonard Ni­moy was half Vul­can).

Jews are al­ways looking for the next in­ter­est­ing place to set up home, and this could be our chance. We have been a lit­tle stuck since the North­ern Line ter­mi­nated at Edg­ware. True, we have crept up to Bore­ham­wood, but this is noth­ing com­pared to the dy­namic mi­gra­tion from East­ern Europe and to the New World which char­ac­terised the last cen­tury. It’s about time we looked be­yond Thames­link to new civil­i­sa­tions.

Once we get in the space­ship and head out be­yond the con­fines of the Milky Way (to the Meaty Way?) and be­yond, we are al­most cer­tain to find a nice new planet where there’s plenty of space, lit­tle in the way of Klin­gon ac­tiv­ity and prop­erty prices which are sig­nif­i­cantly lower than in Radlett.

There will be things to sort out of course — like what we will all be able to eat. Who knows whether Zglob fish are kosher or whether Zglib­clops chew the cud or not?

And then there is the near cer­tainty that a small group of lit­tle green men will have al­ready set up a ri­val shul un­der Rabbi Zlob­stein.

Per­haps the big­gest prob­lem might be the fact that other plan­ets take much longer to or­bit their suns than we do.

On the plus side, Yom Kip­pur will only come around ev­ery 3,650 years, but when it does it will last longer than a decade. Ah well, you could al­ways have a crafty sip of moon wa­ter when the rabbi isn’t looking.

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