Where are all the sin­gle men?

The Jewish Chronicle - - LIFE - RO­MANCE NA­DINE WOJAKOVSKI The So­cial Net­work

IMADE AN un­usual New Year’s res­o­lu­tion for 2017. Although hap­pily mar­ried my­self, I de­cided I was go­ing to try to help my sin­gle friends meet peo­ple — via Face­book. Enough of bad, sad and mad news­feeds, I would use this pow­er­ful tool to trans­form lives and cre­ate hap­pi­ness. The 2010 Face­book film was called for a good rea­son. I con­ser­va­tively es­ti­mated that with my 400 or so FB friends, we could bring to­gether fifty or so sin­gle friends. We just needed to make a con­certed ef­fort.

Many un­mar­ried women in their for­ties strug­gle to find suit­able part­ners. Typ­i­cally, guys their age are look­ing for younger part­ners, in the hope of start­ing a fam­ily, while the much older men are just much too old. And where can a girl meet peo­ple? One friend told me that the prospect of go­ing to ‘sin­gle’ events is as ap­peal­ing as a cat­tle mar­ket. More­over, if it’s a pub­lic event, she said, it at­tracts ran­dom types, and the evening can feel very de­press­ing.

Then there are the dat­ing apps. One prob­lem with these is that with­out a match­maker, peo­ple can be­have re­ally badly — not show up, or drop you with­out an ex­pla­na­tion. More­over, you are meet­ing com­plete strangers which makes it all rather dodgy. No in­for­ma­tion about back­ground, per­son­al­ity, his­tory or rep­u­ta­tion, is not a good way to em­bark on a re­la­tion­ship.

I have around a dozen un­mar­ried friends. They’re ca­pa­ble, in­tel­li­gent, mo­ti­vated and at­trac­tive. One can­didly ad­mits that she “missed the boat,” and now warns women in their twen­ties to be proac­tive in their search for a life­long part­ner, as the lux­ury of choice has evap­o­rated by the time you hit forty.

As sad as this is, I am still a be­liever in the power of net­work­ing. I think that with so­cial me­dia, we can cre­ate more choice than at any time in the past. The prob­lem is that it is not be­ing ex­ploited to good ef­fect.

I am not a match­maker, nor do I in­tend to be­come one. How­ever, I fig­ured that through the Face­book net­work, we could pool our con­tacts and bring to­gether friends of friends. In this way we fix a point of ref­er­ence (the mu­tual friend), and gen­er­ate the pos­si­bil­ity of con­nect­ing like-minded peo­ple. We just need to get on with it.

So I posted a mes­sage that I was or­gan­is­ing an in­for­mal drinks event and yes, I used that word “sin­gles.” I know, I know. But my Face­book friends needed to un­der­stand the ob­jec­tive for this plan to work. The post told peo­ple to mes­sage me with names of those who might want to at­tend. That whole

Girls are com­ing here from around the world

Na­dine wants to hear from you

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