Bullied as a boy, now I own a bank
SOMETHING TELLS me that even if your child were at a Jewish school, or indeed at exactly the same school as your friends’ children, you’d be dealing with the same issues — worrying that yours was not doing as well as theirs, annoyed by their boasting. Competitive people are competitive people. And I’m afraid I’m talking about you, as well as them.
Are your friends really boasting, or are you just oversensitive because you feel that your child — and by extension, you — has somehow failed? It’s interesting that you say “we” didn’t get in to a Jewish school. Surely it’s your child who didn’t. Why are you taking this so personally? Is this really about your child, or more that you feel inferior to your friends?
More worryingly, is your child aware of how negatively you feel? Because if you transmit your lack of confidence in their abilities to him or her, it could be far more damaging than what school they attend.
Please focus on what you do have, not on what you don’t. You may not be able to afford a private tutor, but you can encourage your child to work hard and focus on the things they are good at — and there will be something, even if it’s not academia. Happy, hard-working children generally succeed in life whether or not they go to the very best schools.
Contact Hilary via email at agony@ thejc.com, anonymously or not. Or write to her at 28 St Albans Lane, London NW11 7QF