Bruising Bruges trip for Burns
AS ANYONE who has ever been a leader on Israel tour knows, the best decisions about how to entertain your teenage charges are made at a 2am staff meeting, preferably fuelled by pretzels, Bissli or a large stash of Elite chocolate.
Perhaps that was the missing ingredient in the strategy sessions at the outset of this week’s Apprentice, as the candidates raced to offer a top-notch sightseeing day in Bruges for a bunch of unsuspecting punters.
Given the shambles that unfolded for Team Vitality, it certainly couldn’t have hurt.
In fairness to Jewish contestant Charles Burns, who came in for his share of finger-wagging in the boardroom, he did offer to be project manager; but the team rushed to put their faith in clothing business owner Sarah Jayne instead.
While she was an easygoing leader, she proved a poor-decision maker, putting Anisa in charge of the tour’s content despite her protests that she wasn’t very good at facts, and letting Andrew off the leash to sell the “history tour” as if he was a holiday rep in Malaga offering an all-you-can-drink beer party.
Charles, for his part, was in charge of logistics. Unfortunately, his mapreading skills seemed to take a cue from Joey “step into the map” Tribianni and it became “déjà view”.
By the time they reached the horseand-carriage stage of the expedition, the tourists looked like they would have preferred to be in Ben Gurion airport facing a delayed EasyJet flight.
In the boardroom, Lord Sugar, Karren and Claude didn’t mince their words, with Karren suggesting Charles was highly skilled at hindsight, if less capable of getting things right to begin with.
But Andrew’s lack of professionalism — “it’s a business process, not a holiday camp” tutted Lord Sugar — served to deflect attention from Charles’s failings. Yet, despite it looking like both men would face the boot, it was Sarah Jayne who actually was sent home; possibly because the others make better TV and she was the epitome of forgettable.
There’s no doubt, however, that Charles will have to up his game if he is to stay in the running.
Chutzpah of the week: Charles for claiming that he wasn’t lost while leading the tour group round in circles, just as Scott probably did while exploring the Antarctic.
Charles Burns (right) gets his tour group lost