C WORD

V NOW, HANDS up if you think that the shift in the distancing rule from two metres to “one metre -plus” means “a minimum of 1m” or “a metre or more”? I think most people, on seeing a measurement, followed by a mathematical sign, are likely to conclude that the “plus” relates directly to the measurement.

It doesn’t. It means “one metre plus mitigations”, according to gov.uk. Intriguingly, the government’s own communication portal does not elaborate on what these mitigations actually are — believe me, I’ve looked.

Hurrah then for the BBC website, which understands that successful communication, apparently a baffling enigma to the government, depends on conveying information clearly and simply. This enables your correspondent to offer you this handy cut out ’n’ keep summary so you can host Friday-night dinner following the new rules.

In England, two households can now meet indoors (I’m writing this on July 2, so it’s still just a fantasy for me). In Scotland, it’s up to three households, while maintaining social distancing. In Northern Ireland, groups of up to six not in the same household can meet indoors, with the distance rule also reduced from 2m to 1m. And in Wales (which has higher rainfall than England), it’s still not allowed. So, cariad bach, if you want guests for Friday night, you’ll be feeding them outside. BBQ chicken? That works. Chicken soup in a mug? Hmm, not so much.

Right, so you have two households: Family A, the Fegenbaums, and Family B, the Levys. In Scotland, as you can have three households, you may wish to add Family C, the McGoldfarbs.

I’m assuming that if you live in Scotland, it will have to be in a castle or baronial hall, because otherwise I can’t see how you can have three households in one room for dinner while maintaining social distancing. The McGoldfarbs, though they generally eat in the kitchen, have opted to dine in the Great Hall around their mediaeval long table, originally made