MY FIANCEE’S DAUGHTER IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME
Seven years ago, my fiancée of 83 days tragically committed suicide. She was 42 and left behind a son and daughter. Since then, I have unwittingly – according to her daughter – become her stepfather. I have no children of my own. She lives 200 miles away. I helped her financially through university to qualify as a nurse. She got her degree and a good job and I rewarded her with a new car. Her attitude to me changed demonstrably the minute we walked out of the car showroom. Then, she got a boyfriend from hell. He drinks and fights so much that he is banned from all pubs in his area. She begged me for £300, which I later discovered was to pay a fine for him. Now, only a year into her career, she is pregnant and plans to keep the baby. This has had a devastating effect on my health and I have developed serious heart problems. I don’t think her boyfriend will hang around and I fear that she will expect me to support her financially. I have already spent more than £38,000 on her, including several thousand pounds for her to have facial cosmetic surgery. I am sorely tempted to sever all contact, otherwise I am going to worry myself into an early grave. I have tried talking to her, but she doesn’t listen. I am so sorry about your fiancée’s death. It does sound as if her daughter has taken advantage of your generosity – at a very high cost to you. You can’t continue to finance her for the rest of your life. You need to write to her and explain this. Also, tell her that you fear her boyfriend will abandon her once she has the baby, so she needs to know whether she could cope with working and raising a child at the same time. Hopefully, her own father or family can help her. For your own health, you need to have little or even no contact with her. If you can afford it, perhaps you could set up a small direct-debt transfer that goes to her once a year, which might give you peace of mind.