THINGS I’VE LEARNT ABOUT BE­ING A DAD

The Mail on Sunday - You - - Real Lives -

I now time my morn­ing rou­tine to CBee­bies theme tunes. If I’m not show­er­ing by the time is start­ing, I’m screwed.

There’s more chance of vis­it­ing Nar­nia than see­ing the bot­tom of your laun­dry bas­ket.

I don’t care how strong you think you are, no­body is stronger than a baby who doesn’t want to get dressed. I love my kids more than any­thing in the world. But I’d love them even more if they would stop poo­ing in the bath.

Some nappy changes are like Brexit: tons of build-up, no­body re­ally knows what’s go­ing on and there’s a hor­ri­ble mess to clear up af­ter­wards.

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