SEVEN WAYS TO NUR­TURE THE IN-LAW BOND

The Mail on Sunday - You - - Families -

1 DO ap­proach child­care with cau­tion. Every last de­tail needs to be dis­cussed be­fore prob­lems arise – and there needs to be flex­i­bil­ity. A granny is not the same as a nanny paid to carry out or­ders. 2 DON’T use so­cial me­dia to vent your frus­tra­tion or to get oth­ers on side. And don’t un­friend one an­other. 3 DO get to know one an­other in­di­vid­u­ally, with­out other fam­ily mem­bers around. Have lunch, show an in­ter­est in each other’s lives and re­spect their tal­ents and ar­eas of ex­per­tise. 4 DON’T fo­cus on find­ing faults or take ev­ery­thing per­son­ally. Your mother- or daugh­ter-in-law is likely to have plenty go­ing on that you know lit­tle about, so avoid jump­ing to con­clu­sions to ex­plain their be­hav­iour. 5 DO act in the way you would like your in-law to. A big con­fronta­tion isn’t nec­es­sary. If one per­son changes their be­hav­iour, the other will likely change theirs. 6 DON’T en­list the sup­port of your hus­band or son to re­lay mes­sages or ne­go­ti­ate be­tween you. It spreads the de­struc­tion. 7 DO build on what you have in com­mon. You love the same peo­ple and want the best for them. Use this as a ba­sis to see the best in each other.

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