I found out that my part­ner paid for sex

The Mail on Sunday - You - - Well Being -

I have been with my part­ner for five years. We live to­gether and are both 60. Four years ago, he went away on busi­ness and ended up in Thai­land for a week. Six months ago, I dis­cov­ered that while he was there he vis­ited pros­ti­tutes. I have left him sev­eral times be­cause of this, but gone back. I have told him that he has let me down badly. He has said how sorry he is, but now ex­pects me to move on. I am back with him, but have no trust and it’s a mat­ter of time be­fore I leave again. My self-es­teem is on the floor, but I don’t know how to break the cy­cle. This is dev­as­tat­ing for you; I am sorry. As you have only been to­gether for five years, I would imag­ine that he has been mar­ried or had an­other long-term re­la­tion­ship be­fore. Do you know if he was ever un­faith­ful or vis­ited pros­ti­tutes be­fore he met you? Sadly, I sus­pect that this is the case as I doubt that he has got to 60 and sud­denly de­cided to do it. Also, as this hap­pened a year into the re­la­tion­ship, I am afraid that it adds to my doubts. If he has a record, it would be bet­ter to leave him. Please don’t see his be­hav­iour as any­thing lack­ing in you. Some men are built this way and are un­faith­ful to who­ever they are with. If he has never cheated, you could give him an­other chance, but it will be dif­fi­cult to trust him again, es­pe­cially if he has to go away on busi­ness. I rec­om­mend that you go to coun­selling with Re­late (re­late.org.uk, 0300 100 1234), ei­ther to­gether or alone, to try to de­cide what to do.

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