You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

What makes me laugh? A night out with Sir David Tang. You should see the way he talks to waiters. A joy to behold.

David Walliams reveals to me at China Exchange that his favourite dinner companion is London’s best-connected businessman. Oh my God, I did the London Marathon in 2010 – so long ago now. No more marathons for me. These days I can do a 5k run OK, and that is it! Princess Beatrice, right, tells me at the Oscar’s Book Prize that she’s sworn off serious running. My Polish cleaner once threw a pair of my eyelashes away, thinking that they were spiders. If only she knew just how much they had cost! Fenella Fielding was famed for her long eyelashes in the 1960s but her daily didn’t get the memo. Gordon Brown was a really nice person to die with. Ed Balls reminisces at the Greenwich Theatre about when he and Gordon Brown flew on Concorde – and it suffered engine failure. I must have been one of the last people to speak with David. I was in Singapore. We had chatted about swans, and as I spoke to him I took a photograph of a swan. But we all knew. You don’t make those phone calls if you have 24 days. It’s a 24 hours sort of thing. Photographer Tony McGee tells me at his David Bowie: Unseen exhibition that the star knew what was coming.