BREX­I­TEERS OF THE WEEK

The New European - - Agenda -

BORIS JOHN­SON

The for­mer for­eign sec­re­tary, who earns £275,000 a year for his rub­bish Daily Tele­graph col­umn on top of £77,379 a year as a back­bench MP, has hired an in­tern to run his flag­ging so­cial me­dia ac­counts. The lucky ap­pli­cant is earn­ing the princely sum of £10.20 per hour, four days a week – less than 5% of what their mas­ter trousers.

The job ad said Bozzer’s new helper should “be highly or­gan­ised and have strong at­ten­tion to de­tail” with the “abil­ity to work co­op­er­a­tively” and to “work to time un­der pres­sure” – all of them no­to­ri­ously strong suits for John­son him­self!

BOND… JAKE BOND

“Let’s make Ja­cob Rees-mogg our 007 and let him loose on Brus­sels,” wrote John Hearn from Rain­ham to the Daily Ex­press let­ters page. Well, it was ei­ther go­ing to be him or Idris Elba, but let’s roll with it, John! After all, both are fic­tional char­ac­ters who went to Eton and whose cars have been mod­i­fied – James’ with pop-out gun bar­rels and re­volv­ing num­ber plates by Q branch, Ja­cob’s with a pur­ple dildo by some an­ar­chists. And Project Fear sounds like a pretty good Bond ti­tle, although Ja­cob would doubt­less pre­fer Never Says Che­quers Again, From Prus­sia With Love or even Spec­tre­cles. But what if post-brexit trade talks fail and we find that The World Is Not Enough? In that case, will the EU Only

Live Twice?

AN­DREW BRIDGEN

The Brex­i­teer Tory MP stunned Ra­dio Five Live lis­ten­ers when he de­clared that every­one in Eng­land is en­ti­tled to an Ir­ish pass­port and vice-versa. Bridgen told an au­di­bly shocked Stephen Nolan: “As an English per­son I have the right to go to Ire­land and I be­lieve that I can ask for a pass­port, can’t I? I’m sure that cur­rently we have a re­cip­ro­cal agree­ment where I can go to Ire­land and ask for an Ir­ish pass­port and some­one from Ire­land can come to the UK and ask for a Bri­tish pass­port. That’s the sys­tem we have, isn’t it?”

In a word ... no! Per­haps Bridgen, a mem­ber of the Euro­pean

Re­search Group, should do a bit of re­search into

Europe now and again?

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