Let them make mis­takes

The Oban Times - - Births, Marriages & Deaths -

A VISIT from an old friend should be some­thing to look for­ward, not some­thing to dread.

My old friend has turned into the mother that ‘can do it bet­ter than ev­ery­one else’.

I watched as she stopped her lit­tle girl do­ing many of the things that I en­cour­age my two girls to do.

While I want my girls to climb, ex­plore and seek ad­ven­ture, I won’t let them climb up a set of lad­ders. But if the chair isn’t too high I will al­low them to climb onto it and fall off it.

I think you need to let your kids fall over. They have to fall off that chair. You need to let them make mis­takes, put their trousers on in­side out, their jumpers on back to front. If you don’t let them how will they learn?

Stud­ies have shown that chil­dren with over anx­ious par­ents with too much in­volve­ment in their lives are more likely to be­come adults that suf­fer from anx­i­ety dis­or­ders and lack trust in their own de­ci­sion mak­ing.

Dare I say that I know a few mums that al­ready ‘ know’ what their tod­dlers are go­ing to study at univer­sity…

I’ll be happy if mine make it through to­day at nurs­ery.

I don’t cor­rect them con­stantly in front of peo­ple. If my daugh­ter vis­its some­one’s house and an­nounces at the din­ner ta­ble that she doesn’t like the mac­a­roni then this was an in­no­cent and hon­est state­ment with no in­ten­tion to of­fend. I will have a chat with her af­ter din­ner, with­out em­bar­rass­ing her.

I wait un­til they ask for help with­out pounc­ing in and do­ing ev­ery­thing for them.

This way they will learn how to sweep and mop the kitchen floor so I don’t have to.

They’ll dress them­selves in the morn­ing so I can lie in.

I mean, it turned out al­right for Cin­derella in the end didn’t it?

So there you go. Am I rais­ing over- con­fi­dent chil­dren that no one will like? No. I’m try­ing to raise con­fi­dent and in­de­pen­dent women who say what they mean and mean what they say.

Come back and see me in 20 years and maybe I’ll be telling you how not to do it!

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