Sympathy for night owls? Pah! I used to be one, but I grew out of it
Can anyone spare a thought for night owls? Research from the University of Surrey and Northwestern University in the United States found that those late to bed were 10% more likely to die prematurely, were more prone to an array of disorders and it was unfair to force them to adjust to a morning lark world.
If I went back in time, young me would agree. “Yeah,” I’d drawl, slumped, yawning, against the kitchen counter, wrapped in a dirty duvet, eating white sliced bread straight from the packet. “Respect the night owl.”
However, ask me now, as a middle-aged curmudgeon and I’d say: “Get up, you lazy freaks!… X%&!!@!!... I’ve already walked the dog and got a child off to school. Big boo and hoo to your precious body clocks!”
While unproved scientifically, this chronic lack of sympathy concerning personal sleep allowances seems to be at its most apparent when a new baby arrives, with competitive sleep deprivation between crazed, desperate couples rumoured to spoil approximately 100% of attempted lie-ins.
So, sorry, night owls, in the real brutal world of sleep rage and snooze envy, no one is going to care much about your kipping rights.