It was the best of days for this Hollywood hero
There’s a whole genre of literature dedicated to enabling people who love lists, who shiver with contentment at the mere thought of ticking things off.
There are books dedicated to filling in themed lists, film or music or travel ones, where you can note down, for example, the best beaches you’ve been to or favourite movie duos. But here’s an idea for the next instalment, which should be called Typical Days (That Are Not So Typical) and should be dedicated to competing with Mark Wahlberg. For a list connoisseur, Wahlberg’s “typical day”, which went viral last week, is a thing of beauty and terror.
Wahlberg goes to bed early, because he wakes up at 2.30am. By the time he gets around to 11am “family time”, he has gone through a detailed roadmap of his every moment and has prayed, worked out, played golf, eaten several meals and snacks and enjoyed a period of “cryo chamber recovery”.
What I like about this list, other than the sheer impractical detail and devotion of it, is that it’s stark proof of how aspirational celebrity life is a total fantasy. I feel the same whenever an actress admits that they’re always hungry; in lieu of Hollywood not deferring to one kind of body, at least there’s an honesty in talking about the contortions it takes to fit into that system.
I don’t wish to compare myself to Wahlberg (not again!) but I have barely woken up my brain enough to decide whether to have cereal or toast by 11am. I guess that’s why he’s a renowned movie star and I’m still waiting for that call to lead the next Transformers movie.