Was It worth it?

The People - - NEWS FEATURES & -

AF­TER hear­ing that so­cialite Tara Palmer-Tomkin­son had died, two young col­leagues of mine were dis­cussing what It-girl meant.

Their on­line dic­tionary said “a woman with a ton of self-con­fi­dence and self-worth who sets the ex­am­ple of how to have it all. She knows ex­actly who she is... has a gen­eros­ity of spirit... and is al­ways in con­trol.”

Tara, 45, was un­doubt­edly a gen­er­ous soul, kind, lov­ing and un­fail­ingly loyal, as the flood of touch­ing trib­utes re­vealed.

But the truth is she never knew who she re­ally was.

And her priv­i­leged life spi­ralled out of con­trol into drug ad­dic­tion as she tried to find a pur­pose, please oth­ers and feel wor­thy of love.

Her posh fam­ily were all high achiev­ers and Tara once re­vealed: “There was al­ways an un­der­stand­ing that to be a P-T you had to be suc­cess­ful. I don’t know what a P-T is but I have a feel­ing I might not be it.”

Even at the end, as she bat­tled a brain tu­mour, her mo­ti­va­tion to get bet­ter was to make her fam­ily proud again.

Close pal Ivan Mas­sow said Tara put on that It-girl per­sona when pho­tog­ra­phers were around, then spent hours googling her­self to find out what was said about her.

But it wasn’t van­ity – she was “deeply in­se­cure and craved the val­i­da­tion”.

As are many, many young peo­ple in Bri­tain to­day, an in­ter­na­tional study re­vealed this week. Gen­er­a­tion Z, our 15-21 year olds, are among the un­hap­pi­est in the world, stressed about what’s ex­pected of them, , anx­ious about suc­ceed­ing in life – and risk­ingng their men­tal health.

So it’s vi­tal that we get young­sters ng­sters talk­ing about their fears, about feel­ing ling un­wor­thy, hope­less or stuck.

“Stuck” is how pre­sen­ter Fearne Cot­ton, be­low, de­scribes the warn­ingng sign that made her seek help for de­pres­sion.ssion.

She has writ­ten openly about bout her men­tal health in her new book,, Happy, and has be­come an am­bas­sador­dor for the char­ity Mind. Fearne, 35, has a fab­u­lous ca­reer, lov­ing hus­band and two healthyealthy kids, but was striv­ingng for per­fec­tion. She started arted get­ting bet­ter when she re­alised “per­fect rfect doesn’t ex­ist”.

She said: “Be­fore,re, I i mag­ined l i fe wasas about reach­ing the greatat heights of suc­cess, be­ingng re­spected.

“Re­ally, the sim­plest, freest, t, hap­pi­est ac­tiv­i­ties are run­ning g in the park, be­ing with peo­ple e I adore, danc­ing round the kitchen.” Poor Tara was still bat­tling her demons when she died, try­ing to get bet­ter for other peo­ple, not for her­self.

She was clever, funny,, beau­ti­ful, big- hearted – andnd adored by all who knew her.

The tragedy is, Tara just didn’t n’t get it.

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