Revel-ling in it

The People - - NEWS FEATURES -

CELEBRI­TIES sign up for Strictly Come Danc­ing for many dif­fer­ent rea­sons.

Ex­po­sure, of course, to boost flatlin­ing ca­reers, like that of third rate co­me­dian Seann Walsh.

Many want to lose weight or get fit. Oth­ers love the high camp and glit­ter while some ac­tu­ally want to learn to dance.

And last year the lovely Deb­bie Mcgee saw Strictly as a way of mov­ing on from wid­ow­hood.

But do any con­tes­tants join the show to es­cape mar­riage guid­ance coun­selling – choos­ing rumba and writhing rather than Re­late?

Is flirt­ing with The Curse of Strictly a “kill or cure” move when a star’s re­la­tion­ship is on the rocks? Be­cause that’s the im­pres­sion judge Craig Revel Hor­wood gave this week when com­ment­ing on Snog­gate.

Re­cap for any­one just back from outer space – Seann got caught ton­sil­tan­go­ing with dancer Katya while his girl­friend Re­becca Humphries was home alone on her birth­day. Then Re­becca dumped Seann in a scathing tweet.

Craig reck­ons all the celebs who split from part­ners af­ter groin-grind­ing with sexy dance pros were des­tined to fox­trot off any­way.

They must have had in­sur­mount­able is­sues long be­fore join­ing the show and so, he says: “I think of it as a bless­ing, ac­tu­ally.” A bless­ing, eh? Dy­ing re­la­tion­ships put out of their mis­ery thanks to Strictly chem­istry – a cock­tail of pheromones, spray tan and adren­a­line.

Who knew our BBC li­cence fees were fund­ing a danc­ing Dig­ni­tas for doomed re­la­tion­ships? I doubt Re­becca Humphries felt very blessed when she saw her boyfriend cheat­ing in the pages of a na­tional news­pa­per.

I sus­pect she felt be­trayed and hu­mil­i­ated – like many do when we dis­cover, through gos­sip, a part­ner’s af­fair. Yes, they’d had prob­lems. Re­becca sus­pected Seann was up to no good, but he ac­cused her of be­ing a psy­cho for doubt­ing him “as she has count­less times through­out our re­la­tion­ship.”

But did you see the pride on Re­becca’s face last week when she watched her Man(n) pull off that pas­sion­ate paso doble?

She hadn’t given up on him. So I wish Craig would stop im­ply­ing they were doomed be­fore Seann made his drunken “mis­take” and that Strictly’s sex­u­ally charged at­mo­sphere just has­tened the end.

I don’t know what the next step in this saga will be as I’m writ­ing this be­fore Satur­day’s show.

But mil­lions will have tuned in to watch Seann and Katya’s “dance of shame” a hastily re­ar­ranged chirpy Charles­ton in place of a raunchy rumba. So I guess that’s where the real bless­ing falls... on the BBC and its rat­ings.

DID you watch the royal wed­ding, then? What? Not even to see how our £2mil­lion taxes were blown on all the se­cu­rity?

I tuned in to This Morn­ing as Ea­monn and Ruth valiantly tried to drum up ex­cite­ment for the mar­riage of the ninth in line to the throne to a well-heeled Tim Nice-but-dim.

And ar­gu­ing about the pro­nun­ci­a­tion of her name – is it Eu-jenny or EU-GE­NIE?

OK. I let out a lit­tle aah at the cute brides­maids. And en­joyed a laugh at Fergie’s hat.

But as Eu­ge­nie – Euge to her pals – walked down the aisle wear­ing one of Granny’s price­less tiaras topped with a whop­ping 94-carat emer­ald, I felt a bit green around the gills. Why did we have to pay a penny for the lav­ish cer­e­mony? We’ve al­ready forked out for Wil­liam and Harry’s wed­dings, which was OK by me as the full­time roy­als help Brand Bri­tain.

But Air­miles Andy should have funded a more mod­est do for his youngest daugh­ter. Or got his multi-mil­lion­aire Mama to do so.

Be­cause when Beatrice even­tu­ally ties the knot she’ll want the same fuss – and we’ll end up pay­ing for that too. So much for a pared-down Royal Fam­ily. Wil­liam and Kate and Harry and Meghan had started to make the monar­chy feel more mod­ern and re­lat­able. But this blowout was a mis­take. A re­ally Euge one.

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