At retirement age you can brazenly push in at bus queues
When you are pensioner/retirement old (‘truly old’) you are unburdened of all sorts of onerous responsibilities – and all you have to do is spoil the grandchildren rotten by filling them with Werther’s Originals. There’s no more work, no more rat race. That means no more getting up at the crack of dawn, although curiously this does not seem to stop some elderly folk.
What on earth are you doing on the roads in rush hour? Where are you going that is so urgent?
Have you not read my previous columns about putting your feet up with a nice cuppa and watching GMTV before popping to Sainsburys for a pound of lean minced beef?
If you don’t wish to drive at all you can get a free bus pass. Crikey it’s good being ‘truly old’. And that’s not all. At retirement age you can brazenly push in at bus queues and noone will bat an eyelid.
You can gamble with a clean conscience (bingo) and joyously drive at exactly 25mph in a 30mph zone, 35mph in a 40mph zone, 50mph in a 60mph zone etc etc and blissfully wallow in driving every one else behind you insane with road rage.
The ‘ truly old’ love single carriageway roads because this is where they can legitimately torment us all.
But they hate dual carriageways because it is a physical and metaphorical reminder they are actually living life in the slow lane.