At re­tire­ment age you can brazenly push in at bus queues

The Peterborough Evening Telegraph - - Uk & world Update -

surly in­di­vid­ual.

When you are pen­sioner/re­tire­ment old (‘truly old’) you are un­bur­dened of all sorts of oner­ous re­spon­si­bil­i­ties – and all you have to do is spoil the grand­chil­dren rot­ten by fill­ing them with Werther’s Orig­i­nals. There’s no more work, no more rat race. That means no more get­ting up at the crack of dawn, al­though cu­ri­ously this does not seem to stop some el­derly folk.

What on earth are you do­ing on the roads in rush hour? Where are you go­ing that is so ur­gent?

Have you not read my pre­vi­ous col­umns about putting your feet up with a nice cuppa and watch­ing GMTV be­fore pop­ping to Sains­burys for a pound of lean minced beef?

If you don’t wish to drive at all you can get a free bus pass. Crikey it’s good be­ing ‘truly old’. And that’s not all. At re­tire­ment age you can brazenly push in at bus queues and noone will bat an eye­lid.

You can gam­ble with a clean con­science (bingo) and joy­ously drive at ex­actly 25mph in a 30mph zone, 35mph in a 40mph zone, 50mph in a 60mph zone etc etc and bliss­fully wal­low in driv­ing ev­ery one else be­hind you in­sane with road rage.

The ‘ truly old’ love sin­gle car­riage­way roads be­cause this is where they can le­git­i­mately tor­ment us all.

But they hate dual car­riage­ways be­cause it is a phys­i­cal and metaphor­i­cal re­minder they are ac­tu­ally liv­ing life in the slow lane.

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