Both chan­nels have in­co­her­ent ex-play­ers

The Peterborough Evening Telegraph - - World Cup -

THIS is a pub­lic ser­vice an­nounce­ment to help you en­joy a safe jour­ney while watch­ing the World Cup on tele­vi­sion.

There are three sim­ple steps to fol­low which should en­sure your view­ing plea­sure is not dam­aged by a plague of ‘pun­dits’ sweep­ing South Africa.

Don’t switch on un­til five min­utes be­fore kick-off.

Press the mute but­ton im­me­di­ately you hear the half-time whis­tle.

Change chan­nel or switch off as soon as the fi­nal whis­tle is blown.

If you stick to that sim­ple guide you will man­age to avoid the sort of tor­ture I have en­dured through the past few days.

I al­ways thought pun­dits were se­lected for their in­tel­li­gence, ex­pe­ri­ence and abil­ity to pro­vide in-depth anal­y­sis on the beau­ti­ful game for us peo­ple on the street.

I know that’s am­bi­tious where for­mer foot­ballers are concerned, but it is still the gen­eral idea.

Any­way those prin­ci­ples have clearly been aban­doned for the 2010 World Cup in which it ap­pears any fa­mous past or present player who fan­cied a lit­tle jolly down to the Rain­bow Nation has been hired by our tele­vi­sion sta­tions.

And they seem to have been se­lected re­gard­less of their na­tion­al­ity, rel­e­vance or abil­ity to speak the English lan­guage.

For ex­am­ple ITV have Mar­cel De­sailly, Pa­trick Vieira and Edgar Davids among their ranks out in South Africa while BBC in­clude Em­manuel Ade­bayor, Clarence See­dorf and Jur­gen Klins­mann in their team.

It all means mum­bled, short and in­co­her­ent an­swers are the or­der of the day. At least Alan Shearer feels at home.

In all fair­ness to the afore­men­tioned an­noy­ances, there hasn’t been a lot to say about most of the matches so far.

From what I can es­tab­lish, Greece are garbage, Al­ge­ria are atro­cious and Slove­nia aren’t much bet­ter.

France looked fee­ble and have a squad that ap­par­ently does more bitch­ing than you would hear at a WAGs’ wine party while South Africa are on course to be­come the first-ever host nation to fall at the first hur­dle.

At least Ar­gentina and Nige­ria served up some proper en­ter­tain­ment on Satur­day af­ter­noon.And with the Dutch due to­day, I’m ex­pect­ing busi­ness to pick up.

PLUM­MER’S WORLD CUP BLOG . . .

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