Both channels have incoherent ex-players
THIS is a public service announcement to help you enjoy a safe journey while watching the World Cup on television.
There are three simple steps to follow which should ensure your viewing pleasure is not damaged by a plague of ‘pundits’ sweeping South Africa.
Don’t switch on until five minutes before kick-off.
Press the mute button immediately you hear the half-time whistle.
Change channel or switch off as soon as the final whistle is blown.
If you stick to that simple guide you will manage to avoid the sort of torture I have endured through the past few days.
I always thought pundits were selected for their intelligence, experience and ability to provide in-depth analysis on the beautiful game for us people on the street.
I know that’s ambitious where former footballers are concerned, but it is still the general idea.
Anyway those principles have clearly been abandoned for the 2010 World Cup in which it appears any famous past or present player who fancied a little jolly down to the Rainbow Nation has been hired by our television stations.
And they seem to have been selected regardless of their nationality, relevance or ability to speak the English language.
For example ITV have Marcel Desailly, Patrick Vieira and Edgar Davids among their ranks out in South Africa while BBC include Emmanuel Adebayor, Clarence Seedorf and Jurgen Klinsmann in their team.
It all means mumbled, short and incoherent answers are the order of the day. At least Alan Shearer feels at home.
In all fairness to the aforementioned annoyances, there hasn’t been a lot to say about most of the matches so far.
From what I can establish, Greece are garbage, Algeria are atrocious and Slovenia aren’t much better.
France looked feeble and have a squad that apparently does more bitching than you would hear at a WAGs’ wine party while South Africa are on course to become the first-ever host nation to fall at the first hurdle.
At least Argentina and Nigeria served up some proper entertainment on Saturday afternoon.And with the Dutch due today, I’m expecting business to pick up.
PLUMMER’S WORLD CUP BLOG . . .