It ain’t easy being the Tigers goalie!
Played 12, Lost 12, Goals For 8, Goals Against 118
THEY say a good warm-up is the secret to sporting success.
Judging by the calamities that befell them at the weekend, it’s a concept Eastfield Tigers - the basement boys of Peterborough Sunday Afternoon League football - don’t appear to have grasped.
Their pre-match pursuits ahead of a Cuff League clash against Artemis went a long way to explaining why Rob Wilson’s wonders have lost all 12 competitive matches they’ve played, conceding 118 goals along the way.
Defender Craig Isted was twice laid out by rogue shots from teammates. One thumped him straight in the kisser and another found a somewhat more tender target a bit lower down.
And goalie Nathan Wilson was also in the wars - cutting his knee on his own studs before being crunched by a team-mate!
Incredibly they held out for 25 minutes once the action began, but eventually ended up going down 8-0 - but that’s nowhere near their heaviest defeat.
A 17-0 reverse is the worst of a bad bunch of results while a 1-0 defeat at the hands of Halcyon is an oasis in a desert of drubbings.
Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of the Tigers more than an opposing team blessed with blistering pace.
That’s probably why their biggest hidings have come at the hands of the Netherton United young guns. They’ve actually let in 42 goals in three matches against the team from The Grange.
“We’re not exactly equipped to deal with players who have a lot of pace,” said player and club official Dave Hardingham.
“Netherton are full of lads like that and they have given us some real beatings.
“Our best result was against Halcyon. They are a much more physical side and we find it easier to combat that.”
The Tigers team is made up of a number of workmates and other lads who know each other through their involvement in football.
They actually have around 30 players signed on and usually turn up to matches with a full compliment of substitutes. Last weekend was a rare failure on that front as their bare 11 included regular goalkeeper Hardingham as an outfield player despite being injured!
He added: “A lot of the lads work together at Waitrose and the rest of us all know each other from football.
“We’re all enjoying it despite the results and we’re definitely going to carry on next season. Players and managers of other teams have been supportive after games which is nice.
“Winning isn’t everything but I must admit it would be nice to have a draw once in a while.
“We’d love to get a point on the board before the end of the season but we know we just need to concentrate on getting the defeats down to single figures.”
TOOTHLESS TIGERS: The Eastfield Tigers team that haven’t won a game. From the left they are, back, Paddy Downing, Tony Harper, Tom Rimes, Dave Hardingham, Marc Durham, Rob Wilson, front, Brian Ennis, Josh Mills, Nathan Wilson, Rob Cornwell and Craig Isted.