‘Seek­ing Prince Charm­ing’ screams ‘de­luded’

The Peterborough Evening Telegraph - - News -

paint­ing the bathroom yet an­other sub­tler shade of gar­de­nia’. Do you re­ally want that all over again? Also, never say, ‘Will­ing to share the re­mote’.

Boast­ing about your party tricks as an at­tribute can also send very mixed mes­sages – your abil­ity to pull a con­dom through your nose via your mouth may go down well at drunken gath­er­ings, but is hardly likely to im­press the more re­fined po­ten­tial suit­ors.

Also, avoid things like ‘white knight seeks damsel in dis­tress to let down draw­bridge’ as this will be con­strued as a eu­phemism.

The on­line dat­ing de­coder can also help you get un­der the skin of any suit­able date.

So ‘cud­dly’ equates to ‘fat’ and ‘vi­va­cious’ equates to ‘ag­gres­sive’.

To these I could add, ’Just look­ing for a nice, de­cent guy’ which de­codes as ‘needy and more bag­gage than Ce­line Dion at Heathrow.’

Sim­i­larly ‘seek­ing Prince Charm­ing’ screams ‘de­luded’.

Many mid­dle-aged male dat­ing pro­files seem to stress that they are sol­vent. Even if true, don’t write this on yours.

The on­line com­mu­nity will ei­ther think you are some form of liq­uid ca­pa­ble of dis­solv­ing an­other sub­stance, or a bot­tom­less bank bal­ance for shoe shop­ping sprees.

It also sug­gests you have lit­tle tan­gi­ble at­tributes other than the shame­less flaunt­ing of your wealth, which is both vul­gar and naive.

If you do state your sol­vency, be wary of women’s pro­files that say, ‘I love the finer things in life’.

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