Mem­oirs of a Mad­man*

The Peterborough Evening Telegraph - - News -

BBE­FORE you start writ­ing an on­line dat­ing pro­file, you need to source a suit­able mugshot. In re­cent weeks I have shared my wis­dom on how to write an on­line dat­ing pro­file.

You must find a flat­ter­ing photo with which to lure your prey. Haystacks and nee­dles may spring to mind at this point.

See­ing as how dur­ing the di­vorce/break-up you will have lots of pho­tos that have been sys­tem­at­i­cally cut in half by your ex (or by you) it is prob­a­bly best not to use one of these.

Be­sides you ex’s ‘dis­mem­bered’ arm wrapped around your shoul­der may be con­strued as some sort of grotesque bod­ily dis­fig­ure­ment on your part.

Don’t in­clude pho­tos of you with your chil­dren. Rather than sug­gest­ing that you’re a caring, sen­si­tive dad, it will be in­ter­preted as a cyn­i­cal at­tempt to ex­ploit your kids in or­der to bag a date.

Re­mem­ber, they are dat­ing you, not your off­spring.

Work­ing on the ba­sis that most of the pho­tos you see on on­line dat­ing sites will have been taken at least 10 years ago and in an in­cred­i­bly for­giv­ing light set­ting, a lit­tle

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