Catty comments

I’m not a, er, cat person and my dislike of our feline friends is not helped by the fact that I’m allergic to them. Cat owners are even worse than cats – a bunch of soppy, feeble minded, mushbrains – and sorry, Yorkshire mother, that includes you too. If cat people weren’t (feeble minded that is) my inbox wouldn’t be polluted with pictures like this one and the accompanying drivel which read: “This classic and comical Cat Bonnet (£6.99) will have your puss looking like it’s from Downton Tabby! If you’re a crazy cat person then this hilarious hat will have you in hysterics.’’ ... and if you’re not a “crazy cat person’’ you probably want to go and boil your head!