Change how you deal with the fu­ture

The Peterborough Evening Telegraph - - IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU - Hyn­pother­a­pist John Cooper

Af­ter a bad day it can be hard to get to sleep. Re­play­ing stress­ful con­ver­sa­tions over and over in your mind can leave you feel­ing worse than when they ac­tu­ally hap­pened.

The more you fo­cus on things, the stronger they get.

Un­der­stand­ing that we aren’t our thoughts, but the be­ing that thinks them, gives us op­tions.

It’s very dif­fi­cult to change our core iden­tity, but much eas­ier to change our be­liefs and be­hav­iours. With a lit­tle prac­tise, you can choose your thoughts.

When you find a way to turn that self-talk into a pos­i­tive mes­sage, you can start to talk to your­self with kind­ness and un­der­stand­ing. Once you’ve stopped crit­i­cis­ing, you can en­cour- age. At first it might be hard to say nice things to your­self but with a lit­tle help, your con­fi­dence will grow. Hyp­nother­apy does just this; it pulls up the weeds and puts in a rose bed. It teaches you to use your imag­i­na­tion for your own good.

I find grat­i­tude helps me to be a nicer per­son so ev­ery night I spend a minute think­ing of the things that I am grate­ful for. It’s okay to start with the ba­sics- health, food and the roof over your head. As it be­comes eas­ier, you can search for qual­i­ties like tol­er­ance, for­give­ness and kind­ness. You’ll find them, per­haps they’re just hid­den from view. Be grate­ful for the learn­ing that each day brings.

You can keep a grat­i­tude jour­nal, writ­ing down five things a day that you en­joyed, or are glad for. Use your im- ag­i­na­tion and write down some things that you’d like to have hap­pen.

Com­plete it ev­ery night be­fore you go to bed.

Here is some­thing very pow­er­ful and it only takes a minute. Be­fore you go to bed, find a nice quiet spot and make your­self com­fort­able. Start­ing with break­fast, use your imag­i­na­tion to re­view the day and change ev­ery scene that didn’t go well for you. Make a movie that you’re happy with. Was some­one un­kind and you re­acted badly? In this new movie you kept your cool and stayed in con­trol. Now you were pa­tient with the kids in­stead of snappy.

It won’t change the past, but it will change how you deal with the fu­ture. Learn to re­hearse good feel­ings in­stead of go­ing over old ground.

Here’s an­other thing. Give your­self credit for the progress you have made. Are you still the per­son you were twenty years ago? How are you stronger, wiser, bet­ter off? If it’s not ob­vi­ous, do your re­search, write it all down. You’ll find plenty of things. I’d en­joy hear­ing from you about your jour­ney. What did you do to change the di­rec­tion you were head­ing in?

Did you change the way you spoke to your­self?

My web­site link is be­low, drop me a line with your story, I’d love to hear from you. Go to www.john­coop­er­hyp­no­

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