We all deal with grief in our unique way

The Press and Journal (Inverness) - - NEWS -

It’s hard to be­lieve it’s 20 years since the death of Di­ana, Princess of Wales. As a trib­ute to their mother, Wil­liam and Harry agreed to take part in a doc­u­men­tary, Di­ana our Mother, which I’m sure many of you watched this week. Of course, we all re­mem­ber feel­ing so sad for Wil­liam and Harry at the time, but it wasn’t un­til I watched them be­ing in­ter­viewed that I fully re­alised the im­pact her un­timely death truly had on those boys. It’s easy to think that they are royal so some­how their in­cred­i­ble wealth and priv­i­lege helps cush­ion the blow. It was ap­par­ent as soon as Wil­liam and Harry be­gan to talk about their mother just how painful the mem­ory still is. I can re­late to that – 25 years ago this week my won­der­ful daddy, Al­lan Bur­nett, died. That feel­ing that life will never be the same again is hard to deal with. I can’t think of any­one else, cer­tainly in my life­time, whose death would have been so shock­ing and for whom the whole world seemed to be united in grief as Di­ana, Princess of Wales. Then there was the speech given by Di­ana’s brother, Earl Spencer, where he said Di­ana hadn’t needed a royal ti­tle to con­tinue to gen­er­ate her par­tic­u­lar brand of magic. He ap­peared to crit­i­cise the press and pa­parazzi by say­ing she was the most hunted per­son of the mod­ern age. He also talked of her blood fam­ily as op­posed to the Royal Fam­ily. His speech was con­tro­ver­sial at the time but no one could deny it was heart­felt and this was a man suf­fer­ing from in­tense grief. Of course, we all were. Di­ana’s death touched us in a way that took us by sur­prise. It was as if when some­thing as aw­ful as that could hap­pen to some­one so loved and so won­der­ful, we were all some­how less safe and the world was more scary. And, of course, we kept think­ing how on earth her boys would man­age with­out her. Grief comes to us all and although some of us ap­pear to deal with it bet­ter I think we just process it at dif­fer­ent times. Cer­tainly for Prince Harry, I think we re­alise that his some­what wild, but never bad, be­hav­iour was prob­a­bly his way of deal­ing with his grief and now, for the first time, we are see­ing an in­cred­i­bly pas­sion­ate and car­ing young man emerg­ing who seems happy in his pri­vate life. This week has been dom­i­nated with the Char­lie Gard case. Char­lie’s par­ents now need to be able to say good­bye to their son and grieve in pri­vate. The whole me­dia cir­cus sur­round­ing this con­tro­ver­sial case has de­prived them of time with their son in the last few weeks. Maybe they were wrong with their pur­suit of fur­ther treat­ment but maybe if it had hap­pened sooner it could have done some good. We will never know. Now is the time to leave them alone and let them just be Char­lie’s mum and dad. We all, how­ever, have to re­turn to nor­mal­ity as soon as we can and life goes on. There are mil­lions of peo­ple go­ing through the same thing and their grief is just as bad as Wil­liam’s, Harry’s and Char­lie’s par­ents. That’s why the princes are per­fect am­bas­sadors for be­reave­ment char­i­ties. It seems to give peo­ple so much com­fort when they can talk to oth­ers who have been there. Di­ana’s legacy is the com­pas­sion of those two boys. She seemed to care very deeply for the char­i­ties she be­came in­volved with. She didn’t un­veil the plaque or cut the rib­bon and then just go home but she be­came whole­heart­edly in­volved. Charles too though, is a pas­sion­ate man. The Prince’s Trust does in­cred­i­ble work with young peo­ple and Prince Charles’s work for the char­ity seems to go way be­yond what is re­quired of him. Charles isn’t an out­wardly emo­tional per­son be­cause he has been brought up to ad­here to pro­to­col and not show his feel­ings, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel things deeply. Our Royal Fam­ily is chang­ing. Feel­ings are be­ing talked about and more com­pas­sion shown, but the Queen, whose abil­ity to show how much she cares while re­main­ing to­tally calm and serene will, some day, be a hard act to fol­low. Have a good week, Yvie X

Jada Pin­kett Smith and hus­band Will Smith boy­cotted the Academy Awards in Fe­bru­ary last year as a stand against the lack of di­ver­sity among the nom­i­na­tions. Fast for­ward to July 2017, and Pin­kett Smith is star­ring in Girls Trip, a fe­male-driven movie fo­cus­ing on four African Amer­i­can women as they em­bark on an out­ra­geous re­union week­end in New Or­leans.

It’s al­ready en­joyed the big­gest open­ing week­end for any live-ac­tion com­edy in the US this year and looks set to en­joy a huge re­ac­tion in the UK too.

Mary­land-born Pin­kett Smith, 45, who has two chil­dren, Jaden, 19 and Wil­low, 16, with Smith, shares her thoughts on the movie’s suc­cess, what it means for the in­dus­try and how her other half might re­act to her on-screen an­tics.

The movie has had a fan­tas­tic open­ing week­end in the US, how are you feel­ing? It’s a won­der­ful feel­ing for so many rea­sons – to have a movie star­ring four women; to have a movie star­ring four African Amer­i­can women that so many au­di­ences of many dif­fer­ent back­grounds came to sup­port. It re­ally goes to show you what women can do

●when we re­ally sup­port each other, when we flow each other power. I al­ways say one woman is every woman so no mat­ter what our back­grounds are we have univer­sal sto­ries that we share and so I feel like Girls Trip is a prime ex­am­ple of that.

Have you found men are en­joy­ing it as much as women? That’s an­other beau­ti­ful thing about Girls Trip, it’s not gen­der-spe­cific. I’ve heard a lot of guys have gone to see this movie and not only liked it but loved it and so it goes to show girls can make movies that go be­yond just “girls”, you know a so-called “chick flick”. Men can make moves like The Hang­over and women can go and en­joy those and so this movie is def­i­nitely, in my opin­ion, break­ing a lot of bar­ri­ers in a lot of dif­fer­ent ways and that makes me far more happy than even the box of­fice. But then you need the box of­fice in or­der for stu­dios to

●even want to make movies like this again.

Money talks, so do you see this hav­ing a huge im­pact on the movie in­dus­try? It [money] does [talk] and it [the movie] also means a lot for women.

●The idea that just con­tin­u­ing to pave the way and to show im­prove­ments so that other women will be able to make movies like this as well.

There are out­ra­geous mo­ments in the movie, did you ever catch your­self on set and cringe?

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