Help in finding the perfect memorial

In any cemetery or graveyard, the majority of graves are marked by an inscribed headstone or other form of stone memorial.

A few more recent graves may be distinguished by only a simple wooden cross or tablet; this is because a headstone can only be put in place when a few months have passed since burial, in order to allow the ground to settle.

In the past, graves were marked with natural stones found in the local area.

Some were left plain, but most were inscribed simply, by family or friends.

From the 17th century, sandstone was more commonly used, since it is easy to carve; but it has a tendency to crack and crumble, so its popularity soon waned. Slate was another option, but since it too can erode, its use has diminished.

Nowadays the most popular materials for headstones are granite and marble. and the task of creating a headstone is usually given to a professional monumental mason.

Marble is a form of limestone, and is easy to carve. Over a period of years, weathering turns a marble headstone black, and it takes a long time for the mild acid in rainwater to eat away at the inscription.

Granite can be black, grey, blue or red, and retains its original colour. It is a hard, durable stone, and to inscribe it, professional skill and modern methods such as sandblasting and computer-controlled rotary drilling are required.

A mason who specializes in headstones will be able to offer a number of options regarding shape, size and style, and it is also possible to commission a bespoke stone.

A simple stone can cost as little as £400, but the price can rise into thousands of pounds depending on what is required - and for something out of the ordinary, it might be wise to check that the cemetery management does not object.

A headstone is not always an appropriate memorial, and may not be what the deceased person or his or her loved ones would want.

After cremation, for instance, a plaque may be placed in a garden of remembrance, or following a green burial a tree may be planted.

Closer to home, a special flower bed or herb garden, a bench, cairn or rosebush in one’s own garden might be dedicated to the deceased person.

Or less tangible memorial options might include a charitable trust, a web page or a charity campaign.

There are many ways to remember loved ones who have died, and the most important thing is to choose something which will evoke happy memories.