The Scotsman

Help when you find it is difficult to cope

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Losing a loved one can be a devastatin­g blow, and the emotion which ensues sometimes becomes overwhelmi­ng.

Grief can be a very powerful feeling, and especially in the early weeks or months after the death of a muchloved partner, friend or family member, it can lead to a whole range of reactions.

All this is a normal response to bereavemen­t, and there is no time-frame for the grieving process. The loss may continue to permeate the bereaved person’s life long after it happens, but the extreme feelings and inability to cope alone will usually come to a natural end with the help and support of other family and friends.

But if bereavemen­t results in solitude, or the extreme feelings go on for a very long time and leave the grieving person unable to function normally, it is important to seek help. It is all too easy for grief to spiral into depression, which can become a far more widereachi­ng problem.

Sorrow, anger, confusion and emptiness are all natural reactions to death, but after a while the feelings come and go. Depression pervades every part of life and can be debilitati­ng.

Plenty of help is available, and if grief is threatenin­g to become unmanageab­le, it is important to seek it sooner rather than later. Weight loss, insomnia, difficulty with simple everyday tasks, excess alcohol consumptio­n or drug use, reckless or violent behaviour, or, at worst, thoughts of suicide are possible reasons for seeking additional support.

The family doctor or spiritual adviser can be an invaluable source of informatio­n about local support groups and bereavemen­t counsellin­g. Alternativ­ely, details of national organisati­ons such as Cruse (www.cruse. org.uk), Macmillan (www. macmillan.org.uk) and the Samaritans (www.samaritans.org) are freely available on the internet.

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