The Scottish Mail on Sunday

Parental love helped me save the life of my tragic daughter

Scots peer and race ace says Lola’s ‘pain became mine’

- By Kirsten Johnson

ARISTOCRAT­IC racing driver Johnny Dumfries has spoken movingly about how he supported his teenage daughter following her boyfriend’s suicide.

The famously private Marquess of Bute, John Colum Crichton-Stuart, revealed that his youngest daughter Lola’s ‘tragedy and pain became mine’ when Kai Schachter-Rich was found dead last year.

He admitted he realised that he could not take the grief away and had to let the then 19-year-old heal on her own terms.

The 62-year-old Scots peer, best known for his Formula One career with Lotus, has opened up for the first time – in Lady Lola’s new book to raise money for charities involved with addiction and mental health.

Loss and Hope, released earlier this year, features the personal testimonie­s of a number of prominent people, including author Sebastian Faulks and film director Richard Curtis, as well as Lady Lola’s mother, fashion designer Serena Bute.

Going by the name Johnny Bute, the Marquess, who owns Mount Stuart Estate on the Isle of Bute, writes: ‘When my daughter Lola lost her boyfriend to suicide, my parental hardwiring to care and nurture was more powerful than ever. Her tragedy and pain became mine, but it also showed the limitation­s of what this can do.

‘I understood that however much support and love I offered, how much relief I could provide, it could not heal her feelings of deep pain.

Only she could do that.’ He said he ensured she ‘never lost hope’, adding: ‘I have, and always have had, a deep faith in her resilience and strength of character. I have watched her heal with pride, and the pride I felt has been a very important factor in this recovery.’

Emerging artist Mr SchachterR­ich, 21, the son of a wealthy New York art dealer, was found hanged in his London flat in March last year. An inquest later heard that he had received a text message from Lady Lola seemingly ending their relationsh­ip.

However, in her book, which she dedicates to Mr Schachter-Rich, the model writes: ‘Our love will never be gone. You might be, but we are not, you and I, a forever love. Your love lives within the space in my broken heart.’

She also admits the tragedy forced her to confront her own demons, writing: ‘I cannot describe the loss and emptiness I felt inside. Hollow yet filled with self-hatred, shame and blame.

‘There was nothing left of me, because I was nothing without you.

I had a choice, to give up on the world, or to turn my life around.’

The Marquess, known to prefer to avoid the limelight, featured prominentl­y on his youngest daughter’s Instagram page last week as she celebrated her 21st birthday.

Lady Lola posted photos of her cuddling up to her beloved father after he presented her with a birthday cake at their London home.

The Marquess – who worked as a painter and decorator, and driver of the Williams team bus – was rewarded for his dedication to motor racing when he was given the chance to try karting in 1980.

He then graduated to Formula Three, winning the British Championsh­ip in 1984, using the name Johnny Dumfries. He was a test driver for Ferrari when he got his brief shot at F1 fame.

He won the Le Mans 24 Hour in 1988 before retiring from racing in 1991 due to the illness of his father, Lord Bute. He took over the family estate, with its grand 19th Century mansion house, in 1993 but has spoken of being ‘uncomforta­ble’ with his inherited wealth.

He has shunned the public eye for more than two decades but in Lady Lola’s book he reveals he ‘feels a responsibi­lity to loved ones to live a full and rewarding life’.

He writes: ‘It is an unfortunat­e fact of life that loss is inevitable. We are in the hands of fate. Maintainin­g hope following loss enables each of us to continue to thrive.

‘We cannot predict the future so we should reach for the sky and live life to the full. Never lose hope and never give up: life is full of wonderful opportunit­ies.

‘Loss must be counterbal­anced with hope because life without hope is not an option – I am an optimist.’

‘I have a deep faith in her resilience and strength’

For confidenti­al support, call the Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.

 ??  ?? BOND: Lola and her father Johnny Colum Crichton-Stuart, Marquess of Bute, on her birthday last week. Left: With Kai Schachter-Rich, who died last year
BOND: Lola and her father Johnny Colum Crichton-Stuart, Marquess of Bute, on her birthday last week. Left: With Kai Schachter-Rich, who died last year

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