Helping loved ones make tough choices

NONE of us want to think about losing our loved ones – they are there for all of the important and special moments in our lives and trying to imagine being without them is impossible.

But we all face having to make some sudden hard decisions when a member of their family passes away.

This responsibility, on top of the grief they are feeling at the same time, can be overwhelming and may even result in stress and conflict.

However, there are ways to ensure that arrangements are made in advance, taking away some of the burden.

Organising and paying for your own funeral while you are still able is a really helpful way to ensure that everything is done in exactly the way that you would want it.

It saves your loved ones from having to guess and make important decisions at a time of high emotions.

Working with the funeral director, all the decisions will be made and it can be paid up front.

First and foremost, consider whether you want to be buried or cremated, as this can affect other decisions.

Also think about whether you would like your body donated for research (there are universities in Scotland that accept body donations for medical or forensic students to learn from) or whether you would like your organs donated to help other people.

Deciding the type of service you would like is also something that can save disagreements down the road.

Whether you intend to have your funeral in a church or a humanist service, leaving instructions will ensure that everyone is working off the same page when it comes time for the arrangements to be made.

You can also visit a headstone carver to choose the wording and design of your headstone or memorial.

There are so many different stones, sizes and shapes to choose from, so speaking to a professional can help you to find the right one.

Ensuring that you are given a fitting tribute will save friends and family trying to decide how best to honour you.

Most importantly, if you choose to make arrangements, make sure to leave the information somewhere that your loved ones can find them, or tell them where they are kept.

There’s no point going to all this hard work if no-one knows what to do when the time comes.

Losing a loved one can be one of the most upsetting times in a person’s life.

Organisations such as Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland (www. crusescotland.org.uk) can help by offering emotional support and practical advice to anyone who has suffered a loss.