The Sunday Telegraph - Stella - - NEWS -

Jane takes her­self to the vet, and Bry­ony’s feel­ing broody

37 Mar­ried to a very pa­tient hus­band Harry, and mother to Edie, four

The Au­gust bank hol­i­day weekend has al­ways left me feel­ing anx­ious. Three days off should be cause for cel­e­bra­tion, but al­most 20 years af­ter get­ting my A-level re­sults it still leaves me with that dread­ful back-to-school feel­ing. You know: sum­mer is over; I need a new pen­cil case; win­ter is com­ing. But this year, it is more pro­nounced than ever, and that is be­cause in just a week and a half Edie starts school. My baby! In a uni­form, with a book bag! Time flies... and I am ter­ri­fied that be­fore I know it, she will be a grunt­ing teenager, slam­ming her bed­room door and re­fus­ing to talk to me.

I had to go to hospi­tal last week. I had found a lump in my right breast so

I was packed off to the lo­cal breast clinic where I had a scan. It was all fine – it was just a cyst, thank good­ness. But as I got dressed, the doc­tor said to me, ‘They’re very com­mon in women your age, when you are ap­proach­ing the menopause.’ I said some­thing like ‘Oh,’ put on my bra and top and went straight to the chemist, where I bought some of those ovu­la­tion test things.

‘ We are try­ing for a baby!’ I told Harry when we got home. ‘ We are?’ he said, plonk­ing his backpack down on the floor. ‘I thought we were just hav­ing a steak and salad, and catch­ing up on Game of Thrones.’ He is so an­noy­ing some­times. It’s OK for him. He can just leave me and get a younger woman up the duff, but my bi­o­log­i­cal clock re­ally is tick­ing and for the first time I can hear it. In fact, it is al­most deaf­en­ing.

So as we pre­pare to go back to school, I have de­cided to put off the in­evitable and keep my­self in the baby stage by putting Harry and me on a fer­til­ity diet, which ba­si­cally in­volves him go­ing tee­to­tal too (I am still not drink­ing) and start­ing to ex­er­cise. I have booked us in to do the Royal Parks Half Marathon in Oc­to­ber. He doesn’t know yet, but

I’m sure he’s go­ing to thank me for it.

It’s OK for him. He can just leave me and get a younger woman up the duff

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