Jane Gor­don

The Sunday Telegraph - Stella - - MUM AND ME -

Age un­known Mother, grand­mother and 24/7 child­min­der

Some­one once told me that sta­tis­ti­cally each of us has just five peo­ple that we could call on in an emer­gency sit­u­a­tion at, say, 3am in the morn­ing.

I men­tion this be­cause last week at not-quite-3am (ac­tu­ally early evening) I found my­self in a not-quite-emer­gency sit­u­a­tion and I could only think of one of my usual five ‘fam­ily and friends’ I could call who wasn’t on hol­i­day.

I made three unan­swered at­tempts to get through to Bry­ony – 40 miles away in Lon­don – on FaceTime to ask her help with a strange prob­lem: I had re­turned home from a dog walk to dis­cover that a tick had set up home in my neck.

To be fair, when she did call me back (and saw the of­fend­ing par­a­site) she was very re­spon­sive. ‘Mum! That’s dis­gust­ing! You have to get it re­moved by a doc­tor NOW or you could DIE. Isn’t there a neigh­bour who could help you?’

The ur­gency in her voice gave me the courage to knock on the door of the only woman in the vil­lage I vaguely knew (she once took in a par­cel for me). Thank­fully, she turned out to be just the kind of per­son you need in a cri­sis: in­stantly de­cid­ing that I needed a vet not a doc­tor.

Anne (by now we were on first­name terms) drove me to the surgery and sat with me as I waited to be seen along­side two el­derly pugs, a fright­ened kit­ten in a pet car­rier and a rather threat­en­ing-look­ing Ger­man shep­herd.

The vet who even­tu­ally very kindly (and gen­tly) re­moved the tick ‘at my own risk’ (they are not in­sured to treat hu­mans) told me that I was the first pa­tient she had seen that talked back (apart from an African Grey par­rot).

The best thing about this highly un­usual in­ci­dent was the fact that I now have six peo­ple that I could call at 3am in an emer­gency sit­u­a­tion. The next day I left a bot­tle of fizz on Anne’s doorstep with a note say­ing, ‘ With love and thanks from the bitch at No 7.’ Lit­tle did I re­alise that I was about to have an emer­gency of a whole other or­der...

She turned out to be just the per­son you need in a cri­sis, de­cid­ing I needed a vet, not a doc­tor

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.