“An exciting new opportunity!” That was how one of our leading brazier stokers, Mr Ted Odgers of the Department of Media and Cultural Studies, reacted to the news that staff at the Open University had overwhelmingly supported a motion declaring “no confidence” in their vice-chancellor.
“For many years,” Mr Odgers told The Poppletonian, “academics on this campus have wondered how they might address the sheer ineptitude of their very own vice-chancellor. A variety of strategies have been considered. But many of these, including a proposal to disable the brakes on his chauffeured Mercedes and smuggle noxious chemicals into his private drinks cupboard, have been voted down because of their dubious legality. But now, hey presto, the staff at the OU have shown us the way ahead. We simply assemble everyone and vote overwhelmingly in favour of a no-confidence motion.”
However, Jamie Targett, our Director of Corporate Affairs, has issued the following warning about the conceptual problems of following in the steps of the OU.
“Any vote of no confidence in a serving vice-chancellor necessarily presupposes that having confidence in one’s vice-chancellor is the natural state of affairs in modern British universities. But even the most cursory examination of our own vicechancellor’s record in office shows that he has never regarded the enjoyment of staff confidence as part of his job description. In these circumstances, a vote of no confidence in his leadership would be as inappropriate as expressing a lack of confidence in Sir Philip Green’s management of BHS.”
Another ‘no-confidence’ motion goes through